Go Set A Watchman: Realizations

Adulting. Growing up. Learning who we are and what we stand for. This transition can be rough, it can take years, and often times what we thought was real ends up not.

Lee's novel is a return to Maycomb, but this time it's different. Jean Louise (Scout) is older, her father's deteriorating health is more evident, and the town continues to put pressures on Jean Louise to conform to the Southern expectations of decorum.

My favorite part of this novel is her relationship with Henry Clinton; in fact, he's my favorite character. He's an ambitious, honest, hard worker who has, through the tutelage of Atticus, brought himself into a respectable position in the community. He understands the ins and outs of Maycomb, the tensions of race and status, and what matters. And he is hopelessly (and perhaps, unfortunately) in love with Jean Louise.

But the story is really about Scout, who is transitioning to a new place. She doesn't understand the people around her, the slowness and "blindness" of the South to move forward. She feels totally out of place, abandoned, and betrayed at the end of the novel and realizes that the one person she trusted, idolized even, to be nothing short of perfect, is different than she imagined:

"What stood behind her, the most potent and moral force in her life, was the love of her father. She never questioned it, never thought about it, never even realized that before she made any decision of importance the reflex, "What would Atticus do?" pass through her unconscious...she did not know that she worshiped him."

And it was time for her to think her own thoughts, as we all must do as we grow and experience life. While I don't think this novel is as well written or engaging as To Kill a Mockingbird, I love that we get to experience another chapter in Scout and Atticus' life in Maycomb.

Unexpected: Beyond Limitations

I am, unfortunately, very critical of myself. It drives my husband nuts because I can tear myself down with a smile on my face. And I don't even realize I'm doing it. There are weaknesses, dark spots, areas that are broken and scarred in my heart and soul, but God doesn't want those to remain that way. He is a Healer.

Christine tells the story of the lame man in the Bible, and when Jesus encounters him, asks, "Do you want to be healed?" (John 5). Kind of a crazy question to ask someone who is sick, like, "Hey bro, I know you've got that bad flu, do you really want to get better?" Um, yes.

However, the crippled man, instead of saying "YES!" gave an excuse. Yeah, the Creator of the Universe, the Messiah, is standing in front of him and he gives an excuse as to why he isn't whole. We do that to. "Jesus knows it's so easy for us to grow accustomed to our limitations--to be defined by them, to make allowances for them--and not really want to pay the price of change. He knows how easy it is for us to settle for where we are and to live a smaller life than what he's called us to." It's easier to stay where we are, to not dig deep and let Jesus repair our brokenness, fill the holes.

And yet, "When Jesus poses his unexpected question to us, we have a choice to make. We can focus on our limitations and problems, or embrace the miraculous possibility he offers us. We can run away saying a loud no, or run forward proclaiming a loud yes."

I want to embrace that choice and proclaim YES! Whether it be working in my soul, my relationships, my children, my career...I want to confront fear, weakness, disillusionment and charge forward in faith and healing. Doesn't that sound awesome? Will it be tough? But "when did God say that it would be easy? When did he say it would be effortless?"

"Closed doors do not mean that God is not opening a way. 
Increased cost does not mean that God is not calling.
The presence of battle does not mean the absence of God in the war.
Trials don't mean we are out of the will of God. In fact, they often mean we are precisely in the center of God's will....When we say yes to God--to the dreams and ideas he places in our hearts--the roads are often winding, uphill, uncharted, and full of pot-holes" but it is ALWAYS worth it. Always. 

Unexpected: Choose Faith Instead of Fear

There has, so far, been one book (besides God's Book) that has powerfully shifted the way I see life. The book rocked me to my core, turning my expectations upside down and changing the entire trajectory and action of my life. That book was Radical by David Platt.

People, this next book is going to rival that book for the amount of influence it has in my life:

Introducing, Unexpected by Christine Caine. 

I LOVE the how she reaches into the dark places of my soul, naming fear, anxiety, and heartache, and shedding such radiant light and hope. Beautiful, heart-breaking, powerful stories showing the unpredictable pain of life, but also how to overcome. In our lives we will face obstacles, set-backs, break-downs, and illness. We know it. And yet it always seems to surprise us. How are we supposed to cope? We all wrestle with these pains, they just look different from person to person: denial, anxiety, hurting others, substances, or self-sabotage.

But there's a different way. A better way.

Christine Caine believes "with all [her] heart that it's possible for every Christian to learn how to live with a faith so confident in God, it can't be shaken--even when the ground underneath is giving way." Because this world is not steady, not predictable, filled with the unexpected. But, "Imagine the difference....If we learned to do the unexpected while facing the unexpected. What if we believed instead of feared in the face of the unknown? What if we courageously moved through loss and disappointment, believing God has purpose for it on the other side? What if we got up every day believe God for the best, knowing we might possibly encounter the worst?"

When we face the unexpected, whether it be betrayal of a friend, the hurt of a diagnosis, the uneasiness of our future, we have a choice: Walk in faith? Or walk in fear? While the events of our lives are often out of our control, we can choose how to respond. "We either feed fear or we feed faith, and [we have] the power to choose which one [to] feed." So let's feed and grow and live in faith! It doesn't mean fear goes away. But that fear has no control.

"And no matter what kind of bubble we try to construct to manage our safety and security--physically, financially, or spiritually--trials and tribulations are going to come just as Jesus warned us. And in our humanness, we will try to control everything--including God. Yet, we serve a God who refuses to be controlled by us. That's because part of the mystery and adventure of following Jesus is to trust him no matter what is going on around us." 

There is so much more from just the first few chapters that I want to share with you...but I hope you are able to pick up this perspective-changing book yourself and see how you can live through the unexpected in faith.

Love Does: Life is an Adventure

So often we try to complicate and control every tiny detail of our lives. I'm that way. I crave control, planning, order. But that's an exhausting (and unrealistic) way to live life. We can't control everything, we don't know how things will work out, and we don't always know exactly the path God has for us. If we require prescience before we act, we will live a paralyzed life.

Bob shows us in this book that really, life is about making our best guess, trusting Jesus and who he says he is, and going for it. If we can just "be Awesome" like Jesus' humble, yet powerful example, we will make God happy, no matter what we do. 

"In a world driven by self-promotion and spin, Jesus modeled something different for us. Jesus was saying that instead of telling people about what we're doing all the time, there's a better way. One that doesn't require any (superhero) capes that can get snagged on something--something like ourselves. Maybe Jesus wants us to be secretly incredible instead. That was His plan for self-promotion. Secretly incredible people keep what they do one of God's best kept secrets because the only one who needs to know, the God of the universe, already knows."

"We don't always know where He's (God) is headed or what to expect along the way. But I think direction is the point, the part, and the whole of it. He wants followers, not just onlookers or people taking notes." 

Basically, let's do awesome things without expecting or wanting the roaring of applause in our ears. Let's do wonderful things for people because that's just what we do. We may not know how our plans will work out, or why exactly we feel we are supposed to do or say something, but if we are saying "yes" to God and following his example, He will make masterpieces of our scribbles.

My kids. As they soar into the furthest reaches of space. :-) Whimsy in motion.

My kids call my "Boss Lady," because, that's right, I'm in charge. But I think it's important that I don't see myself as the end-all-be-all of my life. That's a heavy burden to bear, one that often puts me flat on my face with it's weight. I love Bob's approach to life: adventurous, effervescent, joyful. I'm learning in my day to day life that those qualities are magnetic and contagious. They attract people; they make people feel loved; they reveal the real Jesus. And that's powerful.

Love Does: So Le'ts Do

From intentions to actions. From complacent timidity to loving abandon. From sidelines to game-changers. From rules and religion to relationships and purpose.

Bob Goff shares hilarious (and slightly unbelievable) stories of his life that have taught him valuable lessons about God's love and loving others. And seriously, it's amazing and encouraging and important.

As a perfectionist, I struggle with accepting my own mistakes. Especially in areas that I feel impact other people; my failures make me want to give up, throw in the towel, stop trying so hard. However, Bob (I feel like he would want me to use his first name, he's friendly like that) shows and reminds us that failures are often the best teachers. Look at the stories of the Bible, many of the leaders of the faith made huge mistakes, had major set-backs, but were able to come back stronger and wiser for it. The reality is "Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so that we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups."

The book is called Love Does, and I would have to agree. When you are passionate about someone or something, it calls us to action. "Jesus told the people he was with that it's not enough to just look like you love God. He said we'd know the extent of our love for God by how well we loved people." We have power to impact one another's lives in amazingly positive ways. A kind word, a delivered latte, a thoughtful gift, a compassionate and listening ear. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for just how influential we can be--our words, our actions, matter. "I believe it's true that the right people can say words that can change everything. And guess what? We're the ones who can say them."

So let's boldly love people. Let's do things that don't make sense, but make a difference. "So the next time God asks you to do something that is completely inexplicable, something you're sure is a prank because it requires a decision or courage that's way over your pay grade, something that might even save lives, say yes."
*

Pure Genius: Next Steps

The leading minds in education seem to be agreeing on a few key areas that are also highlighted in this book: failure is meaningful, collaboration paramount, students choice ensures engagement, and 21st century learners must be creative innovators.

I LOVE IT. Finally, a direction in education that makes sense. There are some powerful implications of this vision: "The education system must do a better job of encouraging innovation--taking risks and fostering passion through learning--if we want to equip our students for the real world. If we start this culture of innovation early and support students all the way through the high school years, I firmly believe that they will be better prepared for college and become true agents of change as innovators!" (Wettrick).

I go back to the three key ideas of my classroom: kindness, curiosity, and creativity.

Kindness. Empathy. Compassion. To change the world, people must see the needs of others. We must recognize the brokenness of our systems. We must hurt for those who do not have what they need. In my class we read the stories of those who we do not understand, in hopes of building bridges of appreciation.

Curiosity. Learning. Interests. People must possess the constant desire to grow and know. To watch and wonder. To yearn for discovery. To not rest until they find a way. We are constantly asking questions in my classroom; questions as to why things happen, why people react as they do, why things are they way they are.

Creativity. Imagination. Innovation. The same old problems are not being fixed by the same old "solutions." We are so "advanced," many so prosperous, and yet people all around the world are struggling with issues of illiteracy, poverty, hunger, disease, ultimately ending in hopelessness. There are raging conflicts that seem to have no middle ground. And I have to believe that many of these problems are not beyond solutions. But we have to look at things in a different way. We will be a class of creators, builders, makers, even in the digital sense and seek to make our learning relevant to the world outside these walls.

So my goal for my students is to help them see humanity for what it is, some of it awe-inspiring, some of it frustrating. I want them to stretch themselves beyond what they thought possible. To seek to understand what seems a mystery. To create in them a vision for a better life for them and the world around them; to empower them to do something; to help them to believe they can make a difference. 

The next steps are to go all in. To take risks. To live with integrity and passion. To create a vision for my classroom that is rooted in kindness, curiosity, and creativity, and everything we do points to these world-changing ideas. Won't you join me in pursuing your vision for a better world? :-)

Pure Genius: Be KIND, CURIOUS, & CREATIVE

"I am not an educational expert; rather, I am a passionate educator who wants to bring about positive and meaningful change." 

Me, too, Don Wettrick! Me, too!

"I challenge myself to pick up new skills that will make an impact on my students and feed my own curiosity."

Me, too, Don Wettrick! Me, too!

Since introducing 20Time several years ago, I've struggled with students to help them find what they are passionate about; we've dug deep to help unearth creativity; I've shaped and reshaped my project expectations trying to find the BEST practice; and I've also gotten frustrated about the stuck and stagnant mindsets of both students and the education world. Wettrick talks about in his book that "constraints lead to creativity." Well, that is definitely true. The reality of our current system is "Teachers must be innovative in their approach to teaching, learning, and designing new experiences" because the standardized tests, mandated learning standards, and politically oscillating world are not going to end anytime soon. There are so many constraints put on teachers (and students) in the educational journey, that we are going to have to get creative if we are going to develop innovative problem solvers instead of good test takers.

In the early chapters of this book, Wettrick encourages us to create a culture of creativity and
innovation, "find the key concept for your class." I realized that the three underlying emphases in my lesson plans, relationships with students, and ideas for the future, revolve around KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and CREATIVITY (which are essentially what the signs on my door to my classroom say--what a fabulous coincidence!). I want students to be good people, really listening to others; I want them to ask questions and pursue ideas; and I want them to make the world a better place by innovatively solving problems. This also explains why I get so frustrated with standardized tests: they can't measure these fundamental ideas.

I'm only halfway through the book, but here's what I want to do in my classroom:

• Start the year in a creative and challenging way: maybe build Rube Goldberg machines the first week; watch TED Talks; something that encourages my 3 key concepts. 
• Also, starting the year with smaller 20Time projects so they understand what the process looks like before we devote an entire semester to one project. Maybe in the fall students do one 20Time Project per month, allowing them to try out different passions they have, not feeling like that have to get locked into one idea, and teaching them how to ask engaging questions, manage time, and present well. 
• Students choose the standards they are going to work on. Or they develop the expectations for what a "Mastery level" or "Exceeds Expectations" project looks like for each standards. I love the idea that they tell me how they are going to be assessed and what those standards look like. 

I'm so pumped to continue reading this book and making my classroom and my students better:

"Is education about earning a grade, or is it really about fostering learning and creative engagement? We need to put the focus on the process of creativity and development, not on earning a grade for compliance." 

YES. YES. YES. 

More places to pursue these ideas:
Daniel Pink's TED Talk "The Puzzle of Motivation"
Tina Seelig's book, inGenius
Creative Confidence by Tom and David Kelly of IDEO

Problem of Pain: The End and Beginning

You guys, this book took me F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to get through, however, it closes in such a sweet, warm gentleness, that it was completely worth it. 

C.S. Lewis spends this whole book working through the complicated issues of pain, sin, humanity, repentance, and love. We wrestle with that age-old question of how could a Good God allow his creation to suffer? And while there is no real, simple answer, essentially Lewis concludes that it is because of our free, independent, and often arrogant soul that causes us pain, along with the cohabitation with other free, independent and often arrogant souls. Additionally, it is through pain that we recognize our need for our Creator and Savior.

However, Lewis reminds us that "Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home." His final chapter breathes sweet tellings of heaven. All the pain is nothing compared to the incredible experience heaven will be (Romans 8:18). And while he feels that "there have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else."

If indeed there is a Good God, and if indeed he is our Creator, and if indeed we recognize when our experiences give us miraculous glimpses of heaven, we can perhaps recognize that there must be some beautiful place of healing, wholeness, and union. And what an encouragement that is! 

Problem of Pain: What Love Means

Put your thigh-high waders on, people, we are going deep. C.S. Lewis writes this stunningly powerful essay that attempts to reconcile "if the universe is so bad, or even half so bad, how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator?" Basically, how could a benevolent God allow suffering and pain? I think that no matter what a person's personal faith journey is, it's likely they've considered this question.

He offers amazing insight; here is one of my favorites:

"When pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much course, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all."

One of the challenges that we have with a good God is that there is pain in the world. How could he allow us to suffer if he loved us so much? Well, C.S. Lewis points that exact fact out: "You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the 'lord of terrible aspect', is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist's love for his work and despotic as a man's love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father's love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes."

I LOVE my children, therefore I have high expectations for them, sometimes causing them the discomfort of discipline.
I LOVE my husband, therefore I expect that he remain constant, faithful, present and would incredibly heartbroken if he wasn't.
I LOVE my students and have high standards for them to be empathetic and hardworking, and feel frustrated when they aren't.
I LOVE my family and so when they go down paths that aren't beneficial, I feel drawn to call it out, even in the pain of hurt feelings--but so they may have abundant life.

Lewis reminds us that "Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness" and that "our 'happiness' is not the end God chiefly has in view: but when we are such as He can love us without impediment, we shall in fact be happy." I discovered this idea a few years ago and it has helped me see my life as a series of trials, of tests, of refinements of my character and faith. Junky days don't happen because God is mean or Satan is riding my tail--my loving God is trying to get me to rise above, respond in grace, exercise patience, extend mercy. Sometimes I do OK, sometimes, not so much.

While knowing this doesn't make life EASIER, it does make like seem more PURPOSEFUL. And that is the beauty of knowing this LOVING Creator.

Start With Why: My Version; What's Yours?

Why do you do what you do? For some, like my husband, this is a fairly easy question to answer. He wants to "make things awesome." For me, I struggled to articulate it. Partly because I'm an English teacher and perfectionist and I didn't feel like my vocabulary accurately expressed it. But partly because I thought it was way more complex that it actually is for me. But it's a REALLY important question.

Simon Sinek's book "speaks to me," as he suggests we say when our worldview matches someone else's. I love it. My blog is called "Heart Deep" because I want to focus on the root, the foundation, the meaningful, and that's what his book is all about: starting with your cause, your purpose, your WHY. What is so powerful about The Golden Circle is that the WHY can be consistent and unchanging, and yet the WHATs can be numerous. Sinek says "a WHY never changes." So no matter WHAT you do, if you have a strong sense of WHY, you can be a leader, start a movement, feel successful.

So here's my Golden Circle in a nutshell:
WHY: to make the world a better place by giving people something to be passionate about
HOW: doing the right thing; expecting top results; think outside and challenge the norm; take risks
WHAT: English teacher, Hope Acres Owner, church volunteer, mom/wife (and future Joanna Gaines of Ash Grove...*wink wink*)

This is why I do things like run a equestrian program: give people an opportunity to be passionate about horses. Why buy Toms shoes: my purchase helps to make the world a better place. This is the reason I started doing 20Time in my classes: inspire kids to be passionate about something. It's why I donate money to organizations like Compassion and A21: I am hoping, through them, to make someone's world better. And is why I get frustrated when people are destructive to others: they are not making the world better and I want them to be compassionate.

Why is the WHY important?

"Those with an ability to never lose sight of WHY, no matter how little or how much they achieve, can inspire us. Those with the ability to never lose sight of WHY and also achieve the milestones that keep everyone focused in the right direction are the great leaders. For great leaders, The Golden Circle is in balance. They are in pursuit of WHY, they hold themselves accountable to HOW they do it and WHAT they do serves as the tangible proof of what they believe." -Simon Sinek

To me: It's about inspiring others. It's about using your time on Earth well. It's about about being successful. It's about being a person who lives with conviction and influence. It's about leaving a legacy and making a difference.

But that's just me. I would LOVE to hear your WHY! What gets you pumped? Why do you do what you do? Please leave a comment and share!

Start With Why: "The Golden Circle"

Simon Sinek is on to something. He's like a modern day revolutionary, an outlaw with an cause. AND I LOVE IT.

His book, Start With WHY is geared toward understanding why successful businesses and organizations have achieved what they have. But he challenges the current trends of operation and development (gasp!). He includes that "the way corporate America has developed has increased our stress to levels so high we're literally making ourselves sick." The incessant need for more, to be the best, to beat the competition has created a culture of ulcer-induced craziness.

My Golden Circle Art (fabulous, right?)

There's an alternative. He believes that there's this magic "Golden Circle" and if you start from the inside, with WHY you do what you do, rather than focusing on WHAT you do, you'll develop a much more sound business and more loyal customers: "People don't by WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it...When an organization defines itself by WHAT it does, that all it will ever be able to do." So "knowing WHY is essential for lasting success." 

I'm halfway through this book and find myself pondering all of the various organizations, roles, and businesses I'm a part of and going all Sherlock Holmes on them, attempting to deduce WHY we are doing what we are doing. As a school, WHY does Ash Grove do what it does? As a small business, WHY does Hope Acres (my horse riding program) exist? In my classroom, WHY do I do what I do? My church, North Point, what is its WHY?

And I'll be honest, sometimes nailing down the WHY is tough. When we are drowning in busyness, it's easy to default to focusing on WHAT we are doing.

But the importance of the "Golden Circle," of starting with WHY has several components. When you start with WHY, you ensure

• integrity and authenticity: "everything you say and everything you do you actually believe."
• innovation: "Average companies give their people something to work on. In contrast, the most innovative organizations give their people something to work toward."
• inspiring leaders: "The role of the leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen."
• culture: "Great organizations become great because the people inside the organization feel protected. The strong sense of culture creates a sense of belonging and acts like a net."

I think every organization and business--and person--could benefit from taking a step back and looking at their own WHY. Why do I do what I do? What's my motivation? What truly drives me every step of the way? We can then determine HOW we will do life: the ethics that guide decisions. That way, when the seas get rocky, when the storms of life move in, no matter WHAT we do, we know it is moving us in the right direction and feels good in our heart. 

Courageous Edventures: Pursuing the Horizon of Innovation

"We must be courageous. We must be bold." To really make a difference in our world, in our lives, in the lives of others (e.g. students), it's about "embracing the possibility of failure, preparing for potential storms and inevitable rocky shores. It means taking a set of fresh eyes to chart a course around the many challenges, the naysayers."

In a world of insecurities, plenty of reasons to be fearful, and lots of criticizing opinions, sometimes we have to be willing to set sail on our own to find better and more beautiful places. Magiera maps out succinctly and transparently just how teachers (or really, professionals) can go from frustration to innovation.

So often people don't like their situations. But we must be people who do not just complain--be solution finders! And balance that with goal of innovation, newness, betterment with sound judgment about what the goal is and should be: "my goal shouldn't simply be to do something new for the sake of it being new or to get better using these new tools. Rather, my focus should be to solve existing problems with new methodologies--and in the process, to reimagine how teaching and learning could look and feel like."

I've been on a journey to really try to innovate in my classroom for about the two years. It's been a process. It's a good thing I watched Zootopia and connected on a pretty spiritual level with the bunny Judy Hopps and her approach to life-- "Try Everything" -- and her mantra, "Ready to make the world a better place?" I started finding ideas I thought were really cool, tech-forward, stretched my kiddos and decided I'd give things a try no matter if the success was guaranteed or not. I've had several projects or ideas that would be considered fails, but my goal was simply to learn something and help someone.

Magiera's book journeys from a "Gripe Jam," a time to throw out (but also problem-solve) frustrations, developing organizational plans, to overcoming common obstacles, and ideas to innovate. Her ideas can be adjusted to fit classrooms of kindergarteners to seniors. She mentions 20% Time (Yes! My fav!), student-led tech teams, problem-based learning (something I want to do more), Makerspaces, digital portfolios, and how to inspire with Rube Goldberg machines (ARE THESE NOT AMAZING?).

As I read through this book, I realized that in order to truly soak this in, to put Jennie's ideas into action, I need to slow down. Don't rush through her read. Some of the chapters are wonderfully practical--take time to stop for a couple of days, process, write down your own experiences and reflections, and then pick the book back up to continue the journey.

At my core I'm a teacher, a opportunity-door-opener. I can't help it, it's just in the fiber of my being. Many of my colleagues are the same. I challenge you, whether you are a professional educator or a restless soul longing for more, to go on a "Courageous Edventure," setting sail into the unknown, willing to reach out for the horizon despite the fears and obstacles. Because don't you know, life is better when we are moving forward, chasing awesome, and pursuing purpose.

God is Able: Activating Power

Let's talk power. You've got this kind of power:
 
Then you've got this kind of power:
 
And you've got my favorite kind of power:

But what if you never got the car out of the garage? What if you never plugged that computer into the wall? What if that horse never did anything more than stand it its stall? There's power available, but we aren't using it as it should be.

I've often felt like I'm missing something spiritually. Like God's real, and there, and definitely at work, but for some reason I'm always turned the other way or distracted and I miss the "show" of His miracles. They happen in other people's lives, but just not mine. Why can't I see all of these divine interventions? Why doesn't God do supernatural things in my life? Well...perhaps it has nothing to do with God leaving me out, but that I haven't plugged in. I haven't stepped on the gas pedal. I haven't taken that horse out of the barn.

2 Timothy 1:7 says that we are given a "spirit of power." A "mighty strength" (Ephesians 1:19) is in us who believe, the same that raised Jesus from the dead. The moment we believe in Jesus as Lord, the Holy Spirit resides in us. His power is "working" (Ephesians 3:7) through us. Whoa. It's there. But just not used. And I'll admit, sometimes I don't think to ask Him to power my life.

Priscilla says it this way: "Endowed by God with an enormous amount of power, yet tinkering along at a spiritual snails pace, taking up a lane but not really letting Him take us anywhere. Trading adventure for what feels to us (deceptively) like complete control. As a result, not only do we miss out on feeling the wind of destiny and abundance in our own hair, we also potentially clog up the pipeline of blessing for others coming up behind us. We forfeit opportunities to show our children and those we disciple what happens when His foot is on the accelerator of our lives."

"What a travesty it would be to let it--to let Him--just sit there. Untapped and unused. Barely if ever igniting His power, afraid to punch it, to see what it can do. Have we decided our faith is better off just playing it safe on the spiritual back roads, in the slow lane hardly letting it drive us anywhere other than to church on Sunday."

So perhaps it isn't that I've "missed" God's power, I just haven't channeled it. I haven't invited it to be a part of my life. I haven't activated the switch. I'm not expecting it in my little world. Perhaps if I didn't get so caught up in the chaos of life, if I kept my eyes turned to Jesus, I would recognize opportunities to be obedient and unlock that power. So I'm going to expect God to show up, every day, his power at work in my heart and on this road of life.

Thanks, Priscilla, for handing me the power cord, for reminding me turn to Him in my moments of struggle and of praise. This book is beautiful!

God is Able: Perspective

Truly, perspective makes all the difference. Perspective can determine success, attitude, decisions, relationships--so many things ride on back of one's viewpoint.

This book reminds us that in life's uncertainties and challenges, where we place our attention and focus will determine how solid the footing feels. Priscilla meticulously walks us through Ephesians 3:20-21, "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." And while she invites us to name our "It," the thorn in our flesh, we are to adjust our vantage point as we continue forward in our temporal existence.

The time is now. It's now we face our trials, but it's also in this moment that our God is with us. God has and does bridge the gap between us and Him, between our problems and His power.  

I think I need to make the first three words of this verse my mantra: "Now to Him." That's it. That's the perspective adjustment that I need daily to get me from frustrated to fulfilled, from baffled to feeling blessed. It's a turning. Now, to Him. In this moment, Jesus, You. I know this about myself: when I am focused on myself, my whole day gets derailed. I get tired that my kids made a mess of the living room (again); I feel irritated that I have to sweep up dog hair (again); My blood boils because something doesn't go the way I want it at school. Notice what those last statements start with? Me. And that's really what makes challenges seem so big, that's what makes the future seem so daunting, that what makes the world seem like the enemy. 

Priscilla calls out: "Quit staring at your problems!...They're often all we think about...And they'll take all our energy and attention if we let them." 

Therefore, let's take our eyes off the monsters and turn to God. Our God. God is all powerful, all knowing, Creator of galaxies, Author of Life. The roar of busyness dulls when focused on the sweet image of our Savior. Life isn't so scary when you have the ultimate Protector in our vision. Let's see our "difficulties through the lens of God's power and glory. Instead of turning to run [let's turn] into heroes" of our generation.

God is Able: My "It"

I love this woman. Priscilla Shirer. I've had the honor of hearing her speak live, watch War Room (life-altering, by the way), and now, I get to soak in her teachings once again.

And she doesn't mess around. It's straight to the heart, to the Truth, to "It."

She defines "It" as that thing that keeps us up at night. That we wrestle with God about. The thing that we just don't know what to do with, or if God will ever do something about it. And just like that, she calls us to name it.

I thought about that for a little while. What is my "It"? Fears about my kids' health definitely caused me to panic (I can't count how many times I've stood over a crib in the middle of the night). Nightmares about moral struggles of family and friends has surely kept me up at night. Crocodiles definitely could make the list (seriously). Decisions and perspectives about my career are big.

But really, when it comes down to it, I think my greatest fear is that I'll be seen as Not Enough. As a Fake. That people (and God) will realize that I don't always know what I'm talking about, that I'm not as put together as I try to pretend, that I make the same mistakes over and over. That I am Inadequate. And a lot of it is that I can't control everything.

I want to leave a legacy, make a powerful mark on the world, but in my heart, I fear that because I am imperfect and incompetent that I will somehow screw my opportunity up. Mess my kids up. That my coworkers will see right through me and see how incapable I feel. That I'm failing at this life.

But, oh, Priscilla. You speak it to my soul. Can God handle my failures? Can he salvage my brokenness? Can he handle and fix my "It"?

"Just because God can doesn't mean he will.
But just because He hasn't doesn't mean He won't.
The bottom line is that He is able. And because he is able, and because He is love, our hearts are completely secure in every situation, no matter how desperate or chronic or time sensitive."

"In fact, I'm more and more convinced that when He chooses to perform physical miracles in our lives--when He does what we consider supernatural and extraordinary--His chief intention even then is not to blow our minds, but to cause our hearts to become more inclined toward Him and aligned with His."

And then this:

Ephesians 3:20-21.
Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. 

Capital Gaines: Trusting God

Goodness, I'm so glad I titled the blog as I did! Reading books like I have, am, and will, does such wonders for my heart and soul. Tool-belt, boot-wearing Chip sheds a lot of astute wisdom in this book and warms my soul like a steaming latte on a icy Missouri winter's day, i.e. TODAY (. (Too much simile? Yeah, I thought so too. So let's just say it's awesome.)

Look! My Magnolia mug bought from THE Magnolia Market. 

One element of this book that so clear is that Chip and Jo's trust in God is paramount.

Whether it was the challenges of opening and closing their shop, financial insecurity, getting the call to start Fixer Upper, or the success of their business, they attribute all of their forward progress to God showing up at the right time. They've depended on him and He's blessed them for it.

Chip says "winning and losing isn't an event; it's a mindset." How can a person see failures and obstacles as opportunities, unless they have hope that it will all work out in the end? Or that setbacks are just setbacks, especially when you still have what is most important to you (like faith and family)?

They--Chip and Jo and Magnolia--are self-proclaimed "scrappy," and these "types will do whatever it takes when we're going head-to-head with challenges. When other bail for one reason or another, we're just getting warmed up." You don't fight that hard unless you believe in your soul that battle is making an eternal difference.

They didn't set out to alter the landscape of an entire city, or shape the decor of millions of homes across the country, or be New York Times Bestsellers. But, "small things can have a massive impact." How does one couple reach to the height that they have without a little divine intervention?

God is the God of the impossible. When humans have limitations, God shows up, unlimited. Chip and Jo believe that if they can dream it, God can make it happen. They don't dwell on "what won't work, [so] we've found that nothing is impossible."

"Find something to fight for. Something to live for." Chip's encouraging nature rings true in the last chapter of this book. He challenges readers, all people, no matter their age or stage, to combine "bold bravery with a calling you're passionate about" becoming a "force to be reckoned with." Each of us are given a time on this Earth and I don't think it was to sit and do nothing. Let's leave a legacy! Let's build bridges! Let's dream big! Let's "live a life worthy of being written down" so that future generations not only benefit from our actions and hard work, but from our story as well. 

Chip ends this book with a challenge to write down what inspires you, what you're passionate about. That's a tough one, sometimes hard to define in just the right words. I'm passionate about making the world a better place, more specifically, making people better people. I'm passionate about leaving a mark and being a symbol of goodness in the world. I teach, and I hope that I carry out those things in my profession every single day.

(P.S. They are ending the show. Perhaps forever, perhaps not, but at least for now. I'm sure that's got a lot of people upset. And I probably won't turn on HGTV at all anymore, because theirs was the only show I watched. But I totally get it. They've done it because as Chip says, "It's not that we can't juggle more than two things at a time...We just don't do it well. Something's eventually got to give." Family, Business, and TV Show. One has to go, isn't the choice obvious? They trust God with their family and their future, so while saying goodbye to something seems like a huge step, really, it's just being obedient to the call of God on their lives and prioritizing what really matters.)

Capital Gaines: Marriage

Marriage is a fascinating creature. Each has it's own personality beyond the two it joins together. Some are fiery, some peaceful, some rambunctious, some tumultuous, and a million other adjectives. Mine: STEADY. I'm an introverted, consistent home-body who is married to a gracious, compassionate, intelligent, and genuinely fabulous (and occasionally spontaneous) husband. We don't do audacious things, but approach life pretty thoughtfully, focusing on the few things we find valuable. Chip and Jo are self-confessed opposites, so her calculated and cautious approach and his go-get-'em spontaneity seem to balance one another out successfully. I guess you could say, their marriage is planned adventurousness. But in both our cases, it works for us.

Chip and Joanna are honest about what makes their marriage work. Respectful and loving. Regular date-nights.  And "slack in the rope to make mistakes." But probably most importantly, they let God lead them, both as individuals and as a couple:

"...we both walk in authority in the areas of our natural God-given strengths, and that seems to be what makes working together so seamless in our case. As we've learned to harness these opposing characteristics and shore up each other's weaknesses, we've managed to make this working-together thing look pretty easy." 

They trust each other's judgment. They know who they are. They support each other completely, because, "Who wouldn't want to spend all of their time with someone who loves them for who they are and believes the very best about them, who encourages them to fight for their dreams and is the first one to jump in and fight by their side?"

"Life can be tough, and the world can be cruel and relentless. So far as I can see, the point of marriage is to have a partner, a friend for the long journey ahead."

I can't imagine doing life without my husband. I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have him. He gives me confidence to wake up each day and tackle life's challenges. He encourages me to be the absolute BEST version of myself, while forgiving me for my shortcomings. (As I read their books, I really want Austin and I to be another Chip and Joanna.) The reality is, we can't be, but we can be our own version of an example of a healthy, vibrant, God-driven marriage in a world filled with turmoil and selfishness.

Capital Gaines: Purpose and Fear

It is rare to pick up a book and within moments of cracking the cover feel welcomed through and through by the author's invitation to the journey.

Of course, if you've ever watched Chip and Joanna Gaines for more than about 3.5 seconds, you already know that's the kind of people they are. But I'm a bit biased. I've watched every episode of Fixer Upper, visited Magnolia Market in Waco, bought a Magnolia hat, AND got tweeted at by Chip. I'm unashamedly enamored by this incredible couple who have built their lives through struggles, faith, and love. And now, God has given them an enormous platform to share their their perspective on life. What an incredible opportunity to make a meaningful impact! (See, I told you I'm obsessed.) 

Last fall, I read The Magnolia Story, their jointly-written tale of their lives. They share experiences from the times they were kids and the foundations of their families, to the early days of their relationship, to their highs and lows in business. Truly, they have worked their way from the ground up, living modestly--sometimes meagerly--but always striving to do the right thing and listen to the voice of God. One of my favorite meme's says, "In a world of Kardashians, be a Joanna." Will do. 

Chip's book, Capital Gaines: Smart Things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff, fully details why he is who he is. He's a full-steam ahead entrepreneur, eternal optimist, and seasoned trial-overcomer. While he may have had help from a team writing this book, it's still very much Chip: "You were uniquely created for a purpose...It's big, and it's important, and there's no one else anywhere on the planet who can fulfill it. So quit jacking around and go get after it." Chip isn't going on this journey alone. He wants each of us to reach our full potential; so get your muck boots and ball cap on and let's get going!

(The start of this book is SO MUCH like Raising an Original, but I suppose that both being Christ-following, big-family Texans might do that to you.) 

So far, here's what I've found very powerful: Mistakes and hardships happen to everyone. It's how we respond that makes all the difference. 

"I believe each life lesson and every opportunity is a building block on which future experiences are built...Every ounce of energy you invest in pursuing your goals will help you grow toward God's plan for you...even if you end up somewhere you hadn't counted on."

Maybe Austin planned on living life in Ash Grove, MO. But I certainly did not. And yet, here I am. One decision after another led me to this spot--as a teacher, entrepreneur, church nursery volunteer-- so dedicated to making a big difference in this small town. I used to be afraid of challenges, risks, and mistakes, but over the past few years, God has given me the confidence, not only in his purpose for my life, but in my God-given abilities to try new things, overcome obstacles, and take on roles that I didn't feel equipped for. But we don't make it very far without a few scary steps. As Chip says, "because we're not afraid to fail, fear has lost its power over us." 

Raising an Original

Raising an Original by Julie Lyles Carr was a profound and fun read! Her witty style and large family make for entertaining tales that stretched my perspectives.

Austin and I read it over Christmas break, as we were neck deep in corralling our munchkins, 24/7, trying to keep some semblance of order and routine.

She begins her writing by weaving together some beautiful humans from history, metaphors, and scripture:

"...curious threads run through all of us, strands of personality and possibility and purpose that are present from the very inception of our lives. Some of us grab hold of those threads and wave together a lace of life that reflects what we are meant to be."

"We (parents) are tasked with taking threads of life in our children and helping shape them as a dwelling for the Spirit of God."

"We are all, each of us, an original. The Divine Lacemaker gathers His similar threads for life and weaves them anew for every human brought to existence. And when He makes us parents, He invites us to participate in that miraculous process..." 

The thought that we are to join God on the journey of raising our unique offsprings makes the task feel less daunting. Realizing that we were given this child, at this time in history, with this one-of-a-kind personality and purpose, makes parenting each child a fascinating honor. I've always been one to sort of get this, but Carr's book emphasizes this point even more, and for the two weeks we were home with the boys, my eyes were trained more carefully on watching them approach life.

One thing that she does not ignore is our role or perceived role as a parent. Don't expect your kids to do what you did. Don't live vicariously through them. Don't expect them to shoulder our burdens. There's a few chapters in here where Carr basically sits you down, leans in, and in a stern (but loving) voice says, "Listen here. Parenting is hard. But it's not about you. So throw that all out. Get on board with God's design. Period." I love it. Don't beat around the bush with me. Serious soul-searching. And it instigated powerful discussions about our expectations for our boys, whether they are healthy or not.

She uses  the DiSC personality assessment as a tool for observing and coaching our children's unique personalities.Through reading her book, we discovered (it was pretty obvious) that our oldest is a "Director" (Dominance) personality. While our youngest hasn't quite hit two yet and is a little young for the test, we are fairly certain he is the "Inspirer" (Influencer). This means he has all the feelings, all the time, with abundance. So as we played DinoTrux and Paw Patrol for the millionth time, I stopped fighting against Eli's directives and encouraged Ezra's excitement. Those threads are meant to be woven carefully, pulled in the same direction as the child, so to speak, rather than fighting in a battle of tug-o-war. The DiSC assessment was also reflective because Austin and I looked at our own personalities, and realized we essentially have one of each type in our home, making for a raucous, vibrant, and sometimes challenging home.

Carr's book is so tender, so authentic, so practical, so challenging--all the things that parenting entails. Her love for her family and her reader spills off the pages and is such an encouragement. We can successfully and gracefully equip our children in God's purpose for their lives with tenderness and intentionality.

A New Season: 2018

Welcome back! 

I'm so excited to be blogging again! We've been in the season called babies-diapers-toddlers-messy-craziness, and this year, Austin and I want to be focused and intentional with our time.

Taking time to READ is important to our spiritual and emotional health. So, what better way to use a school 20Time opportunity to read and blog. Hopefully, I'll be able to read many books that breathe life to our souls and encouragement to our hearts.

The LOVE OF MY LIFE:

Our ADORABLE Munchkins:

Recently, I've been reading a fun and fascinating literary cocktail: Star Wars Aftermath series (Wendig), The Magnolia Story (Gaines), Raising an Original (Carr), and I Am Malala (Yousafzai). It's been a perfect blend of far reaching galaxies and challenging realities. I'd recommend ALL of them. (Here's a link to my reflections on Malala's story.)

I hope to start this year with a short reflection on Carr's text as it provided a focused lens for raising our children with their God-given purpose as the focus. It was beautiful.

Thank you for taking this journey with me and I hope you find a morsel of encouragement as we read our way through 2018!