Go Set A Watchman: Realizations

Adulting. Growing up. Learning who we are and what we stand for. This transition can be rough, it can take years, and often times what we thought was real ends up not.

Lee's novel is a return to Maycomb, but this time it's different. Jean Louise (Scout) is older, her father's deteriorating health is more evident, and the town continues to put pressures on Jean Louise to conform to the Southern expectations of decorum.

My favorite part of this novel is her relationship with Henry Clinton; in fact, he's my favorite character. He's an ambitious, honest, hard worker who has, through the tutelage of Atticus, brought himself into a respectable position in the community. He understands the ins and outs of Maycomb, the tensions of race and status, and what matters. And he is hopelessly (and perhaps, unfortunately) in love with Jean Louise.

But the story is really about Scout, who is transitioning to a new place. She doesn't understand the people around her, the slowness and "blindness" of the South to move forward. She feels totally out of place, abandoned, and betrayed at the end of the novel and realizes that the one person she trusted, idolized even, to be nothing short of perfect, is different than she imagined:

"What stood behind her, the most potent and moral force in her life, was the love of her father. She never questioned it, never thought about it, never even realized that before she made any decision of importance the reflex, "What would Atticus do?" pass through her unconscious...she did not know that she worshiped him."

And it was time for her to think her own thoughts, as we all must do as we grow and experience life. While I don't think this novel is as well written or engaging as To Kill a Mockingbird, I love that we get to experience another chapter in Scout and Atticus' life in Maycomb.

Unexpected: Beyond Limitations

I am, unfortunately, very critical of myself. It drives my husband nuts because I can tear myself down with a smile on my face. And I don't even realize I'm doing it. There are weaknesses, dark spots, areas that are broken and scarred in my heart and soul, but God doesn't want those to remain that way. He is a Healer.

Christine tells the story of the lame man in the Bible, and when Jesus encounters him, asks, "Do you want to be healed?" (John 5). Kind of a crazy question to ask someone who is sick, like, "Hey bro, I know you've got that bad flu, do you really want to get better?" Um, yes.

However, the crippled man, instead of saying "YES!" gave an excuse. Yeah, the Creator of the Universe, the Messiah, is standing in front of him and he gives an excuse as to why he isn't whole. We do that to. "Jesus knows it's so easy for us to grow accustomed to our limitations--to be defined by them, to make allowances for them--and not really want to pay the price of change. He knows how easy it is for us to settle for where we are and to live a smaller life than what he's called us to." It's easier to stay where we are, to not dig deep and let Jesus repair our brokenness, fill the holes.

And yet, "When Jesus poses his unexpected question to us, we have a choice to make. We can focus on our limitations and problems, or embrace the miraculous possibility he offers us. We can run away saying a loud no, or run forward proclaiming a loud yes."

I want to embrace that choice and proclaim YES! Whether it be working in my soul, my relationships, my children, my career...I want to confront fear, weakness, disillusionment and charge forward in faith and healing. Doesn't that sound awesome? Will it be tough? But "when did God say that it would be easy? When did he say it would be effortless?"

"Closed doors do not mean that God is not opening a way. 
Increased cost does not mean that God is not calling.
The presence of battle does not mean the absence of God in the war.
Trials don't mean we are out of the will of God. In fact, they often mean we are precisely in the center of God's will....When we say yes to God--to the dreams and ideas he places in our hearts--the roads are often winding, uphill, uncharted, and full of pot-holes" but it is ALWAYS worth it. Always.