Problem of Pain: What Love Means

Put your thigh-high waders on, people, we are going deep. C.S. Lewis writes this stunningly powerful essay that attempts to reconcile "if the universe is so bad, or even half so bad, how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator?" Basically, how could a benevolent God allow suffering and pain? I think that no matter what a person's personal faith journey is, it's likely they've considered this question.

He offers amazing insight; here is one of my favorites:

"When pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much course, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all."

One of the challenges that we have with a good God is that there is pain in the world. How could he allow us to suffer if he loved us so much? Well, C.S. Lewis points that exact fact out: "You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the 'lord of terrible aspect', is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist's love for his work and despotic as a man's love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father's love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes."

I LOVE my children, therefore I have high expectations for them, sometimes causing them the discomfort of discipline.
I LOVE my husband, therefore I expect that he remain constant, faithful, present and would incredibly heartbroken if he wasn't.
I LOVE my students and have high standards for them to be empathetic and hardworking, and feel frustrated when they aren't.
I LOVE my family and so when they go down paths that aren't beneficial, I feel drawn to call it out, even in the pain of hurt feelings--but so they may have abundant life.

Lewis reminds us that "Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness" and that "our 'happiness' is not the end God chiefly has in view: but when we are such as He can love us without impediment, we shall in fact be happy." I discovered this idea a few years ago and it has helped me see my life as a series of trials, of tests, of refinements of my character and faith. Junky days don't happen because God is mean or Satan is riding my tail--my loving God is trying to get me to rise above, respond in grace, exercise patience, extend mercy. Sometimes I do OK, sometimes, not so much.

While knowing this doesn't make life EASIER, it does make like seem more PURPOSEFUL. And that is the beauty of knowing this LOVING Creator.

Start With Why: My Version; What's Yours?

Why do you do what you do? For some, like my husband, this is a fairly easy question to answer. He wants to "make things awesome." For me, I struggled to articulate it. Partly because I'm an English teacher and perfectionist and I didn't feel like my vocabulary accurately expressed it. But partly because I thought it was way more complex that it actually is for me. But it's a REALLY important question.

Simon Sinek's book "speaks to me," as he suggests we say when our worldview matches someone else's. I love it. My blog is called "Heart Deep" because I want to focus on the root, the foundation, the meaningful, and that's what his book is all about: starting with your cause, your purpose, your WHY. What is so powerful about The Golden Circle is that the WHY can be consistent and unchanging, and yet the WHATs can be numerous. Sinek says "a WHY never changes." So no matter WHAT you do, if you have a strong sense of WHY, you can be a leader, start a movement, feel successful.

So here's my Golden Circle in a nutshell:
WHY: to make the world a better place by giving people something to be passionate about
HOW: doing the right thing; expecting top results; think outside and challenge the norm; take risks
WHAT: English teacher, Hope Acres Owner, church volunteer, mom/wife (and future Joanna Gaines of Ash Grove...*wink wink*)

This is why I do things like run a equestrian program: give people an opportunity to be passionate about horses. Why buy Toms shoes: my purchase helps to make the world a better place. This is the reason I started doing 20Time in my classes: inspire kids to be passionate about something. It's why I donate money to organizations like Compassion and A21: I am hoping, through them, to make someone's world better. And is why I get frustrated when people are destructive to others: they are not making the world better and I want them to be compassionate.

Why is the WHY important?

"Those with an ability to never lose sight of WHY, no matter how little or how much they achieve, can inspire us. Those with the ability to never lose sight of WHY and also achieve the milestones that keep everyone focused in the right direction are the great leaders. For great leaders, The Golden Circle is in balance. They are in pursuit of WHY, they hold themselves accountable to HOW they do it and WHAT they do serves as the tangible proof of what they believe." -Simon Sinek

To me: It's about inspiring others. It's about using your time on Earth well. It's about about being successful. It's about being a person who lives with conviction and influence. It's about leaving a legacy and making a difference.

But that's just me. I would LOVE to hear your WHY! What gets you pumped? Why do you do what you do? Please leave a comment and share!

Start With Why: "The Golden Circle"

Simon Sinek is on to something. He's like a modern day revolutionary, an outlaw with an cause. AND I LOVE IT.

His book, Start With WHY is geared toward understanding why successful businesses and organizations have achieved what they have. But he challenges the current trends of operation and development (gasp!). He includes that "the way corporate America has developed has increased our stress to levels so high we're literally making ourselves sick." The incessant need for more, to be the best, to beat the competition has created a culture of ulcer-induced craziness.

My Golden Circle Art (fabulous, right?)

There's an alternative. He believes that there's this magic "Golden Circle" and if you start from the inside, with WHY you do what you do, rather than focusing on WHAT you do, you'll develop a much more sound business and more loyal customers: "People don't by WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it...When an organization defines itself by WHAT it does, that all it will ever be able to do." So "knowing WHY is essential for lasting success." 

I'm halfway through this book and find myself pondering all of the various organizations, roles, and businesses I'm a part of and going all Sherlock Holmes on them, attempting to deduce WHY we are doing what we are doing. As a school, WHY does Ash Grove do what it does? As a small business, WHY does Hope Acres (my horse riding program) exist? In my classroom, WHY do I do what I do? My church, North Point, what is its WHY?

And I'll be honest, sometimes nailing down the WHY is tough. When we are drowning in busyness, it's easy to default to focusing on WHAT we are doing.

But the importance of the "Golden Circle," of starting with WHY has several components. When you start with WHY, you ensure

• integrity and authenticity: "everything you say and everything you do you actually believe."
• innovation: "Average companies give their people something to work on. In contrast, the most innovative organizations give their people something to work toward."
• inspiring leaders: "The role of the leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen."
• culture: "Great organizations become great because the people inside the organization feel protected. The strong sense of culture creates a sense of belonging and acts like a net."

I think every organization and business--and person--could benefit from taking a step back and looking at their own WHY. Why do I do what I do? What's my motivation? What truly drives me every step of the way? We can then determine HOW we will do life: the ethics that guide decisions. That way, when the seas get rocky, when the storms of life move in, no matter WHAT we do, we know it is moving us in the right direction and feels good in our heart.