Psalm 34: All or Nothing

Ask my husband, my attitude is all or nothing" I'm an "I must always..." and "I will never..." kind of person. It probably stems from my Enneagram 1 personality, this pursuit of the right thing, and that there is only one right thing. (I'm slowly learning to be more generous, however).

But that's probably why I love this psalm so much. It's an all or nothing type of attitude about God.

I will bless the Lord at ALL times...
His praise shall CONTINUALLY be in my mouth...
He answered me, and delivered me from ALL my fears...
And saved him out of ALL his troubles...
For those who fear (revere) him there is NO want...
But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of ANY good thing...

Absolutes can be confining, but in this case, I think they are meant to be incredibly freeing. I find that when I'm not intentionally focused on faith, I compartmentalize God's work in my life. I see him at church. But then the rest of my life I don't invite him in. It's best if he works in ALL areas of our life--that he's the answer to ALL our prayers--that EVERY dicey situation is placed in his control--that we understand that spiritual blessings are WAY better than any material desire.

I guess my goals for the year echo this psalm (totally unintentionally on my part, must be God doing his thing):
Find joy in EVERYthing
Surrender ALL things to Him
Speak lovingly ALWAYS

And then this psalm goes on to teach us how to do this and what this looks like:

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all. 

Well, crap. That's tough. No hurtful words, do good, have peace--and you'll still have hard times. It's like, thanks for the help, God--and he's like, "Exactly." He reminds us at the end, that He WILL deliver us out of ALL our troubles. We will walk through shadows, darkness, emptiness, loneliness. But God will be there, reaching out His hand to pull us up, provide wisdom for questions we ask, healing for hurts. That gives me such incredible hope, security, and courage to take the next step in life.

What about you? How does this passage challenge your thinking and encourage you?

Psalm 139: In the Dark

You have searched me...
You understand my thought...
You scrutinize my path...
Intimately acquainted with all my ways...
You know it all...

There are times when I've read this and felt ashamed that God would have access to all that information. I am so far from perfect, especially in my words and thoughts, and to have a perfect God see a running feed of all of that makes me embarrassed and shocked that He would still love me. And yet today, I find that incredibly comforting. God KNOWS me--intimately, personally, lovingly, mercifully--and he knows it ALL, beyond just me and my kitchen island where I sit and write this. There's a steadiness in being tethered to one who is solid and wise.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,"
Even the darkness is not dark to You and the night is as bright as the day.

Last night we were finishing up chores at the barn, and what felt like just a few yards away we heard the yipping and tumbling and jawing of coyotes. Like REALLY close. And with the way our valley is shaped, it echos, no joke, like special effects from a horror movie. And while I wanted to offer some protection for my horses (do coyotes eat horses?), I couldn't see them, and though they sounded close, I'm sure they were scattered up the hill further than my senses really understood. Walking through life is like that. It's like standing on my front porch at night with the lights on: I can see where I'm standing, but goodness, it is dark past that porch. There are sounds echoing up to me that I can't place--but God knows all of that, he sees me, my spot, as well as all that is beyond my limited perspective.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; 
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

This last year I've gone through a lot of spiritual growth. We've had some challenging times as a family, as well as some amazing moments and opportunities. I am constantly asking God to make me better, grow my faith, burn out my selfishness, and shape my thoughts and words. That's where this blog title comes from: the desire to honestly look at myself, the Word of God, and move forward in faith.

This year my goal has been three-fold (well two-fold, and then I had to add another):
See JOY in everything. Literally everything.
Surrender it ALL to Jesus. Literally everything.
Speak in Love. Yes, literally every word.

Where do you stand in all this? What does this psalm say to you? What weighs on your anxious heart?

Unexpected: Beyond Limitations

I am, unfortunately, very critical of myself. It drives my husband nuts because I can tear myself down with a smile on my face. And I don't even realize I'm doing it. There are weaknesses, dark spots, areas that are broken and scarred in my heart and soul, but God doesn't want those to remain that way. He is a Healer.

Christine tells the story of the lame man in the Bible, and when Jesus encounters him, asks, "Do you want to be healed?" (John 5). Kind of a crazy question to ask someone who is sick, like, "Hey bro, I know you've got that bad flu, do you really want to get better?" Um, yes.

However, the crippled man, instead of saying "YES!" gave an excuse. Yeah, the Creator of the Universe, the Messiah, is standing in front of him and he gives an excuse as to why he isn't whole. We do that to. "Jesus knows it's so easy for us to grow accustomed to our limitations--to be defined by them, to make allowances for them--and not really want to pay the price of change. He knows how easy it is for us to settle for where we are and to live a smaller life than what he's called us to." It's easier to stay where we are, to not dig deep and let Jesus repair our brokenness, fill the holes.

And yet, "When Jesus poses his unexpected question to us, we have a choice to make. We can focus on our limitations and problems, or embrace the miraculous possibility he offers us. We can run away saying a loud no, or run forward proclaiming a loud yes."

I want to embrace that choice and proclaim YES! Whether it be working in my soul, my relationships, my children, my career...I want to confront fear, weakness, disillusionment and charge forward in faith and healing. Doesn't that sound awesome? Will it be tough? But "when did God say that it would be easy? When did he say it would be effortless?"

"Closed doors do not mean that God is not opening a way. 
Increased cost does not mean that God is not calling.
The presence of battle does not mean the absence of God in the war.
Trials don't mean we are out of the will of God. In fact, they often mean we are precisely in the center of God's will....When we say yes to God--to the dreams and ideas he places in our hearts--the roads are often winding, uphill, uncharted, and full of pot-holes" but it is ALWAYS worth it. Always. 

Unexpected: Choose Faith Instead of Fear

There has, so far, been one book (besides God's Book) that has powerfully shifted the way I see life. The book rocked me to my core, turning my expectations upside down and changing the entire trajectory and action of my life. That book was Radical by David Platt.

People, this next book is going to rival that book for the amount of influence it has in my life:

Introducing, Unexpected by Christine Caine. 

I LOVE the how she reaches into the dark places of my soul, naming fear, anxiety, and heartache, and shedding such radiant light and hope. Beautiful, heart-breaking, powerful stories showing the unpredictable pain of life, but also how to overcome. In our lives we will face obstacles, set-backs, break-downs, and illness. We know it. And yet it always seems to surprise us. How are we supposed to cope? We all wrestle with these pains, they just look different from person to person: denial, anxiety, hurting others, substances, or self-sabotage.

But there's a different way. A better way.

Christine Caine believes "with all [her] heart that it's possible for every Christian to learn how to live with a faith so confident in God, it can't be shaken--even when the ground underneath is giving way." Because this world is not steady, not predictable, filled with the unexpected. But, "Imagine the difference....If we learned to do the unexpected while facing the unexpected. What if we believed instead of feared in the face of the unknown? What if we courageously moved through loss and disappointment, believing God has purpose for it on the other side? What if we got up every day believe God for the best, knowing we might possibly encounter the worst?"

When we face the unexpected, whether it be betrayal of a friend, the hurt of a diagnosis, the uneasiness of our future, we have a choice: Walk in faith? Or walk in fear? While the events of our lives are often out of our control, we can choose how to respond. "We either feed fear or we feed faith, and [we have] the power to choose which one [to] feed." So let's feed and grow and live in faith! It doesn't mean fear goes away. But that fear has no control.

"And no matter what kind of bubble we try to construct to manage our safety and security--physically, financially, or spiritually--trials and tribulations are going to come just as Jesus warned us. And in our humanness, we will try to control everything--including God. Yet, we serve a God who refuses to be controlled by us. That's because part of the mystery and adventure of following Jesus is to trust him no matter what is going on around us." 

There is so much more from just the first few chapters that I want to share with you...but I hope you are able to pick up this perspective-changing book yourself and see how you can live through the unexpected in faith.

Love Does: Life is an Adventure

So often we try to complicate and control every tiny detail of our lives. I'm that way. I crave control, planning, order. But that's an exhausting (and unrealistic) way to live life. We can't control everything, we don't know how things will work out, and we don't always know exactly the path God has for us. If we require prescience before we act, we will live a paralyzed life.

Bob shows us in this book that really, life is about making our best guess, trusting Jesus and who he says he is, and going for it. If we can just "be Awesome" like Jesus' humble, yet powerful example, we will make God happy, no matter what we do. 

"In a world driven by self-promotion and spin, Jesus modeled something different for us. Jesus was saying that instead of telling people about what we're doing all the time, there's a better way. One that doesn't require any (superhero) capes that can get snagged on something--something like ourselves. Maybe Jesus wants us to be secretly incredible instead. That was His plan for self-promotion. Secretly incredible people keep what they do one of God's best kept secrets because the only one who needs to know, the God of the universe, already knows."

"We don't always know where He's (God) is headed or what to expect along the way. But I think direction is the point, the part, and the whole of it. He wants followers, not just onlookers or people taking notes." 

Basically, let's do awesome things without expecting or wanting the roaring of applause in our ears. Let's do wonderful things for people because that's just what we do. We may not know how our plans will work out, or why exactly we feel we are supposed to do or say something, but if we are saying "yes" to God and following his example, He will make masterpieces of our scribbles.

My kids. As they soar into the furthest reaches of space. :-) Whimsy in motion.

My kids call my "Boss Lady," because, that's right, I'm in charge. But I think it's important that I don't see myself as the end-all-be-all of my life. That's a heavy burden to bear, one that often puts me flat on my face with it's weight. I love Bob's approach to life: adventurous, effervescent, joyful. I'm learning in my day to day life that those qualities are magnetic and contagious. They attract people; they make people feel loved; they reveal the real Jesus. And that's powerful.

Love Does: So Le'ts Do

From intentions to actions. From complacent timidity to loving abandon. From sidelines to game-changers. From rules and religion to relationships and purpose.

Bob Goff shares hilarious (and slightly unbelievable) stories of his life that have taught him valuable lessons about God's love and loving others. And seriously, it's amazing and encouraging and important.

As a perfectionist, I struggle with accepting my own mistakes. Especially in areas that I feel impact other people; my failures make me want to give up, throw in the towel, stop trying so hard. However, Bob (I feel like he would want me to use his first name, he's friendly like that) shows and reminds us that failures are often the best teachers. Look at the stories of the Bible, many of the leaders of the faith made huge mistakes, had major set-backs, but were able to come back stronger and wiser for it. The reality is "Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so that we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups."

The book is called Love Does, and I would have to agree. When you are passionate about someone or something, it calls us to action. "Jesus told the people he was with that it's not enough to just look like you love God. He said we'd know the extent of our love for God by how well we loved people." We have power to impact one another's lives in amazingly positive ways. A kind word, a delivered latte, a thoughtful gift, a compassionate and listening ear. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for just how influential we can be--our words, our actions, matter. "I believe it's true that the right people can say words that can change everything. And guess what? We're the ones who can say them."

So let's boldly love people. Let's do things that don't make sense, but make a difference. "So the next time God asks you to do something that is completely inexplicable, something you're sure is a prank because it requires a decision or courage that's way over your pay grade, something that might even save lives, say yes."
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Start With Why: "The Golden Circle"

Simon Sinek is on to something. He's like a modern day revolutionary, an outlaw with an cause. AND I LOVE IT.

His book, Start With WHY is geared toward understanding why successful businesses and organizations have achieved what they have. But he challenges the current trends of operation and development (gasp!). He includes that "the way corporate America has developed has increased our stress to levels so high we're literally making ourselves sick." The incessant need for more, to be the best, to beat the competition has created a culture of ulcer-induced craziness.

My Golden Circle Art (fabulous, right?)

There's an alternative. He believes that there's this magic "Golden Circle" and if you start from the inside, with WHY you do what you do, rather than focusing on WHAT you do, you'll develop a much more sound business and more loyal customers: "People don't by WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it...When an organization defines itself by WHAT it does, that all it will ever be able to do." So "knowing WHY is essential for lasting success." 

I'm halfway through this book and find myself pondering all of the various organizations, roles, and businesses I'm a part of and going all Sherlock Holmes on them, attempting to deduce WHY we are doing what we are doing. As a school, WHY does Ash Grove do what it does? As a small business, WHY does Hope Acres (my horse riding program) exist? In my classroom, WHY do I do what I do? My church, North Point, what is its WHY?

And I'll be honest, sometimes nailing down the WHY is tough. When we are drowning in busyness, it's easy to default to focusing on WHAT we are doing.

But the importance of the "Golden Circle," of starting with WHY has several components. When you start with WHY, you ensure

• integrity and authenticity: "everything you say and everything you do you actually believe."
• innovation: "Average companies give their people something to work on. In contrast, the most innovative organizations give their people something to work toward."
• inspiring leaders: "The role of the leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen."
• culture: "Great organizations become great because the people inside the organization feel protected. The strong sense of culture creates a sense of belonging and acts like a net."

I think every organization and business--and person--could benefit from taking a step back and looking at their own WHY. Why do I do what I do? What's my motivation? What truly drives me every step of the way? We can then determine HOW we will do life: the ethics that guide decisions. That way, when the seas get rocky, when the storms of life move in, no matter WHAT we do, we know it is moving us in the right direction and feels good in our heart. 

Raising an Original

Raising an Original by Julie Lyles Carr was a profound and fun read! Her witty style and large family make for entertaining tales that stretched my perspectives.

Austin and I read it over Christmas break, as we were neck deep in corralling our munchkins, 24/7, trying to keep some semblance of order and routine.

She begins her writing by weaving together some beautiful humans from history, metaphors, and scripture:

"...curious threads run through all of us, strands of personality and possibility and purpose that are present from the very inception of our lives. Some of us grab hold of those threads and wave together a lace of life that reflects what we are meant to be."

"We (parents) are tasked with taking threads of life in our children and helping shape them as a dwelling for the Spirit of God."

"We are all, each of us, an original. The Divine Lacemaker gathers His similar threads for life and weaves them anew for every human brought to existence. And when He makes us parents, He invites us to participate in that miraculous process..." 

The thought that we are to join God on the journey of raising our unique offsprings makes the task feel less daunting. Realizing that we were given this child, at this time in history, with this one-of-a-kind personality and purpose, makes parenting each child a fascinating honor. I've always been one to sort of get this, but Carr's book emphasizes this point even more, and for the two weeks we were home with the boys, my eyes were trained more carefully on watching them approach life.

One thing that she does not ignore is our role or perceived role as a parent. Don't expect your kids to do what you did. Don't live vicariously through them. Don't expect them to shoulder our burdens. There's a few chapters in here where Carr basically sits you down, leans in, and in a stern (but loving) voice says, "Listen here. Parenting is hard. But it's not about you. So throw that all out. Get on board with God's design. Period." I love it. Don't beat around the bush with me. Serious soul-searching. And it instigated powerful discussions about our expectations for our boys, whether they are healthy or not.

She uses  the DiSC personality assessment as a tool for observing and coaching our children's unique personalities.Through reading her book, we discovered (it was pretty obvious) that our oldest is a "Director" (Dominance) personality. While our youngest hasn't quite hit two yet and is a little young for the test, we are fairly certain he is the "Inspirer" (Influencer). This means he has all the feelings, all the time, with abundance. So as we played DinoTrux and Paw Patrol for the millionth time, I stopped fighting against Eli's directives and encouraged Ezra's excitement. Those threads are meant to be woven carefully, pulled in the same direction as the child, so to speak, rather than fighting in a battle of tug-o-war. The DiSC assessment was also reflective because Austin and I looked at our own personalities, and realized we essentially have one of each type in our home, making for a raucous, vibrant, and sometimes challenging home.

Carr's book is so tender, so authentic, so practical, so challenging--all the things that parenting entails. Her love for her family and her reader spills off the pages and is such an encouragement. We can successfully and gracefully equip our children in God's purpose for their lives with tenderness and intentionality.