It's Not About Me

God has been laying on my heart recently one of the greatest, most important, most difficult lesson. This is one that I will probably battle all my life, and for ever small stride forward, I'll be faced head-on with another obstacle or test that challenges that progress.

The lesson: it's not about me.

Goodness, I've lived my whole life thinking that life WAS about ME. That each breath God gave me was for my benefit. That every morning I wake is a fresh start to make something of myself. That my marriage, child, career, and church were opportunities to better myself and find fulfilment of my dreams. I have believed that the places I've been and mistakes I've made are there to teach me a lesson about myself.

And while some of that is true--the church is a group of people that want to encourage and challenge me, my family brings me joy, and each breath, morning, sunset, and beautiful beach are wonderful for me to experience---that's not the point of my temporary little life.

There's a message in the church, and it's a deadly one. The message is that God mostly cares about my happiness and well-being. You can see evidence of that here:  http://www.albertmohler.com/2014/09/03/the-osteen-predicament-mere-happiness-cannot-bear-the-weight-of-the-gospel/

But look at Paul. Look at Stephen. Think about Peter. Consider Daniel and Joseph and David. Their lives weren't easy. They spend time in prison and slavery. They were beaten and hunted. They were thrown to the lions, criticized, cast out, and martyred. They are the foundations of God's church. Was God's focus them? Or was it his church, his people, his message.

And then there's Jesus. Our example. The shining star. We are to follow in his footsteps. He was criticized, despised, abandoned by his own family, beaten, ridiculed, spit on, and crucified. For what? For pursuit of his own happiness? For fulfillment in his career? For a meaningful marriage? Nope. It was all about The Lord. All about God. All about salvation for others.

I think our world will a an amazing amount greater when we all start to live for OTHERS--and watch the world ignite, bloom, transform. 

Check out this book! 

Get Up and Walk

I find stories from the Bible humbling. Especially if I've been complaining about "stuff"--scripture is like, "oh, really? Hold my...grape juice."

So there's this guy's story in John 5. Here's what we know about him:

A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years...

Wait, what? There's a lesson right there. So often we are so impatient with our circumstances (I know I can be). Suffering can seem never-ending.This guy had been so close to being healed for decades, and yet remained incapacitated. BUT, God used these lengthy years to grow this man, show us a miracle, and teach people life-changing lessons.

Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition.

God sees us, He understands our situation, He's aware of our hurts, struggles, and fear. To me, I find this comforting. The fact that I serve a God who knows what burdens my heart helps me to not feel alone.

He said to him, "Do you wish to get well?"

This seems like a dumb question. He's been ill for a LONG time, he's sitting by a pool for healing, of course, Jesus, he wants to get better...right? Except that we forget, Jesus KNOWS what this man is dealing with and knows the attitude of his heart. This is exactly the question this man needs; we will see this with his response. If he is healed, it will change EVERYTHING about how he has been living his life. When we experience Jesus, we should be ready for him to upset everything about our life. He shows up and won't leave you the same. But he doesn't force His way into our lives, just like this question, he asks and waits for us to accept his invitation.

The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me."

Before we talk about what this man says, let's talk about what he doesn't say. He doesn't say, "Why, yes, Jesus." That would be the right answer to Jesus' question. But instead, he gives excuses as to why he hasn't been healed, and blames two other groups of people for why he's still in this place. It's easy to blame others, blame our circumstances, our past, etc., for what's going on in our life, but that's not what Jesus cared about at that moment. Jesus asked what the man wanted, if he wanted things to change, if he wanted to live his best life.

Jesus said to him, Get up, pick up your pallet and walk." Immediately the man became well...

This is awesome! A miracle! But let's unpack it a bit. Jesus tells him first to "get up." Before the miracle  happened, Jesus asks this man to move, to go, to step. And this isn't the only time this happens with Jesus' miracles. Jesus wants us to take a step of faith, and watch the miracle happen as we move closer to him, closer to our best life.

Water to Wine: How the Miracle ACTUALLY happens

I love stories. I love that stories, while in their own right, have significant and impact, I especially love stories that have significance beyond just the plot.

I think that's exactly what the stories of the Bible are meant for: it's more than just an isolated event thousands of years ago, it's meant to show us how God works and how he interacts with us.

I spent some time reading through the New Testament book of John a few months ago. I love this book because it's purpose is to show just how much Jesus IS God. His first miracle in the book takes place at a wedding, and it's turning water into wine. While that sounds cool in itself, I love what this story reveals about how God works.

The mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine."

This woman KNOWS. She raised this baby up to be a man. She's seen his wisdom, his work, his holiness. She offers him the problem and KNOWS that he will have a solution. I love that! She doesn't tell God what to do, she just offers up the concern and then has faith to watch Jesus work it out in the best way.

Now there were six stone water pots set there for the Jewish custom of purification...

Someone put those pots there. Someone, before this miracle was recorded, maybe even before the wedding started, placed those empty stone jars for a purpose, but maybe NOT the purpose God was going to use them for. These water vessels could be seen as an opportunity, not one that people expected, but one that God would use anyway.

...containing twenty or thirty gallons each.

This is important later. Think: heavy lifting.

Jesus said to them, "fill the water pots with water."

Sometimes, God does huge transformations, performs massive miracles, parts the sea, floods the earth, etc. It's awesome. But how often does that happen in our own lives? Not a lot. I think God's commands are usually simple instructions. Guidance for daily steps forward. Wisdom in the form of forward momentum. God's like, "Do this next right thing, and trust me." We miss a lot of opportunities if all we are looking for is the parting of the skies and crazy visions. God's work in our lives is often quiet, and gentle instructions.

So they filled them up to the brim.

Remember how big those pots are? 20-30 gallons. And they are probably having to draw the water from a well, or maybe worse, have to walk to a river. So a gallon of water is 8.34 pounds (I googled it), times 25 is 208.5 pounds. ADD TO THAT the weight of a LARGE clay pot. See what I mean? Heavy lifting. God sometimes asks us to do some heavy lifting, some hard stuff. It may be simple, but rarely is it easy. It requires some muscle, maybe physically (as is the case here), but often it requires our discipline, perseverance, and grit. But wait! There's more! They filled them to the brim. I've hauled water enough having horses to know that if you fill that bucket to the brim, you'll drench your ankles by the time you get back to the barn! But these servants filled them up, maybe even grumbled along the way (the story doesn't say), and probably were incredibly careful not to spill ANY of it. I'd be saying, "I better not have to go back for more, this is tough!" But these people were intentional about bringing God the whole thing, a job well done, all the effort and care they could. I think sometimes we just cast prayers up to God, we just mention him in conversation, we show up at church once in a while, but perhaps the principle here is that we need to bring to God obedience wrapped in intentionally and devotion. (Sorry, that was a lot! I just love that part!)

And He said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter." So they took it to him. When the head waiter tasted the water which has become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew)..."you have kept the gone wine until now."

I'm sure the servants, carefully set the jars down, looked at Jesus, looked back at the water, looked at Jesus, and shrugged. (At least that's what I see in my mind.) No miracle yet. And all that work! Jesus is like, "excellent work ladies and gentlemen, now that you've done all that hard one, ONE MORE THING..." But sometimes we have to work for our miracle. So they scoop some out and carry to the head waiter (glance back and forth at each other skeptically). But that miracle happened IN THEIR HANDS and ON THE WAY. Coudn't Jesus have just poofed the water into the jars in the first place? Or have just magically created wine from nothing? Yep. But these servants got to be not only the witnesses, but active participants in God's miracle. I truly think that the miracle was not for the bride and groom of the wedding, but for the servants and Jesus' disciples who were watching.

God's working miracles; he sets opportunities in front of us DAILY. We choose to notice them and then participate...or not. Our hearts have to be sensitive to the moments and obedient to his call. What do you see from this parable? Leave a comment about how this resonates with you!

Gazing

A few nights ago I found myself laying in bed, mentally rehearsing an imaginary conversation in my head, thinking about a couple of the horses who have issues, and overwhelmed by the problems of the world. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.

I was glancing through my journal and came upon a powerful statement from the Proverbs 31 ministry podcast:

Glance at your problems, but gaze on Jesus.

I also had another note from the First 5 App that was similar:

Our faith is determined by our focus.

How often do we find that our minds are focused on all the stuff, all the chaos, all of the problems. It's just common sense: what we look at is what we see. If we constantly notice the mess, we miss a potential message. If all I'm looking at is my social media, the news, books about fantasy worlds, the muddy mess of my pastures, then of course things will look bleak and scary. The idea of "glancing" at our problems means we see the troubles, we aren't oblivious, but our vision doesn't stay there, our eyes move elsewhere.

Taste and SEE that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)

I love that we live out in the country. Breathtaking sights are all around us. It reminds me of a God who pays attention to details and had the wisdom to create seasons, possesses the magnitude to place the stars, and the love for us to paint gorgeous sunsets every evening. If I have faith in the God who made this amazing world, then I can trust that he can control it. But will we notice? What are we looking at? Will we turn the focus of our heart to this omnipotent (all-powerful), omnipresent (all-present), omniscient (all-knowing) God. I can see that God has been faithful to me and my family in my lifetime. I can read the words of scripture and be encouraged by his promises of love, life, peace, and joy in all circumstances.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us (those who have gone before us and lived by faith), let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, FIXING OUR EYES ON JESUS, the Author and Perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Psalm 51: Leave the Old Normal Behind

These days are a far cry from normal. And yet, I've heard many people say they look forward when things get back to "normal." But I don't know that I can agree with them, or want to agree with them. Yes, there were (are) some amazing people doing amazing things, and this whole corona virus isolation has put a lot of that on hold--but I'm not talking about those things. The day in and day out grind, the pettiness on Facebook, the #FirstWorldProbs that flood our lives, the busyness of activities, sports, on and on and on...

So far, I've spent a lot of time with the three amazing dudes in my house. We've gone on walks around our property, played board games, eaten EVERY meal together, sent LETTERS to cousins, cooked some great meals...it's been amazing. And challenging. But so GOOD.

I just chatted with my Sis-in-law about how this event will be a defining moment in this generation's history, for good or for bad.

Psalm 51 is so painful; a pleading with God to cleanse and purify, heal and restore. There's a desperation in the voice of the writer, and I think a lot of us resonate with it, at least from time to time. I also believe that it is incredibly relevant to this time we are living in: here we are isolated, desperate, stressed, pressured. Perhaps these words of the psalmist could be used, asking God to create in me a clean heart, and renew a steadfast spirit within me...

I've been challenged these last few days to think about what is really important, to create a new "normal." I've been asking God to restore to me the joy of [God's] salvation and sustain me with a willing [and joyful] spirit. In whatever circumstances we face, in our tiredness, our stretched out emotions, off-track thoughts, derailed life, we need a constant joy, a holy focus, and steady Redeemer that can remind us of what we are really on this Earth for: praise for our Creator, surrender to His work in us, and peace about his control over eternity.

Our attitudes and spirits need a solid dose of humility, and perhaps with this perspective we can open our hands to heaven and surrender to our Good God.

Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your loving kindness; 
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgression.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
...
Make me to hear joy and gladness, let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
...
O Lord, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise.

What do these verses say to you? How do they resonate in your life right now?

Psalm 34: All or Nothing

Ask my husband, my attitude is all or nothing" I'm an "I must always..." and "I will never..." kind of person. It probably stems from my Enneagram 1 personality, this pursuit of the right thing, and that there is only one right thing. (I'm slowly learning to be more generous, however).

But that's probably why I love this psalm so much. It's an all or nothing type of attitude about God.

I will bless the Lord at ALL times...
His praise shall CONTINUALLY be in my mouth...
He answered me, and delivered me from ALL my fears...
And saved him out of ALL his troubles...
For those who fear (revere) him there is NO want...
But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of ANY good thing...

Absolutes can be confining, but in this case, I think they are meant to be incredibly freeing. I find that when I'm not intentionally focused on faith, I compartmentalize God's work in my life. I see him at church. But then the rest of my life I don't invite him in. It's best if he works in ALL areas of our life--that he's the answer to ALL our prayers--that EVERY dicey situation is placed in his control--that we understand that spiritual blessings are WAY better than any material desire.

I guess my goals for the year echo this psalm (totally unintentionally on my part, must be God doing his thing):
Find joy in EVERYthing
Surrender ALL things to Him
Speak lovingly ALWAYS

And then this psalm goes on to teach us how to do this and what this looks like:

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all. 

Well, crap. That's tough. No hurtful words, do good, have peace--and you'll still have hard times. It's like, thanks for the help, God--and he's like, "Exactly." He reminds us at the end, that He WILL deliver us out of ALL our troubles. We will walk through shadows, darkness, emptiness, loneliness. But God will be there, reaching out His hand to pull us up, provide wisdom for questions we ask, healing for hurts. That gives me such incredible hope, security, and courage to take the next step in life.

What about you? How does this passage challenge your thinking and encourage you?

Psalm 139: In the Dark

You have searched me...
You understand my thought...
You scrutinize my path...
Intimately acquainted with all my ways...
You know it all...

There are times when I've read this and felt ashamed that God would have access to all that information. I am so far from perfect, especially in my words and thoughts, and to have a perfect God see a running feed of all of that makes me embarrassed and shocked that He would still love me. And yet today, I find that incredibly comforting. God KNOWS me--intimately, personally, lovingly, mercifully--and he knows it ALL, beyond just me and my kitchen island where I sit and write this. There's a steadiness in being tethered to one who is solid and wise.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,"
Even the darkness is not dark to You and the night is as bright as the day.

Last night we were finishing up chores at the barn, and what felt like just a few yards away we heard the yipping and tumbling and jawing of coyotes. Like REALLY close. And with the way our valley is shaped, it echos, no joke, like special effects from a horror movie. And while I wanted to offer some protection for my horses (do coyotes eat horses?), I couldn't see them, and though they sounded close, I'm sure they were scattered up the hill further than my senses really understood. Walking through life is like that. It's like standing on my front porch at night with the lights on: I can see where I'm standing, but goodness, it is dark past that porch. There are sounds echoing up to me that I can't place--but God knows all of that, he sees me, my spot, as well as all that is beyond my limited perspective.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; 
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

This last year I've gone through a lot of spiritual growth. We've had some challenging times as a family, as well as some amazing moments and opportunities. I am constantly asking God to make me better, grow my faith, burn out my selfishness, and shape my thoughts and words. That's where this blog title comes from: the desire to honestly look at myself, the Word of God, and move forward in faith.

This year my goal has been three-fold (well two-fold, and then I had to add another):
See JOY in everything. Literally everything.
Surrender it ALL to Jesus. Literally everything.
Speak in Love. Yes, literally every word.

Where do you stand in all this? What does this psalm say to you? What weighs on your anxious heart?

Starting this Next chapter

Wow, it's one thing to read about history, but to be living it?

We also understood that our world had gotten smaller, but these last few weeks we have truly experienced the full weight of our global connections.

We've watched as the shelves have gotten emptier, not over a few months, but in moments, those ever-full shelves at our favorite grocery store have been wiped clean.

Trips, parties, meetings, plans...all of them are now tentative as we can't see what the future will hold.

And I had considered homeschooling for like half a second; I guess now I'll get to see if I'm any good at it.

I feel an incredible burden this morning. A responsibility to my boys, to help them academically over the coming weeks, but also to offer character and spiritual growth in light of circumstances that are totally bizarre. I feel a weight for my high school students, knowing I sent some of them out the door yesterday with a small bit of work and no way to contact them (since they don't have internet at home). I also feel I'm supposed to open this blog back up. I love writing--crafting the right words to fit the shape of my thoughts and emotions--and I feel as though this time is a great season to begin again. I began this blog as an opportunity to share my heart about Bible passages, offer truth and encouragement, as well as insight into what I was reading.

I think it will be a beautiful challenge, to walk through this time of uncertainty and reflect on the promises of God. Would love your feedback and thoughts, always! Praying for you and hoping to encourage you!

Go Set A Watchman: Realizations

Adulting. Growing up. Learning who we are and what we stand for. This transition can be rough, it can take years, and often times what we thought was real ends up not.

Lee's novel is a return to Maycomb, but this time it's different. Jean Louise (Scout) is older, her father's deteriorating health is more evident, and the town continues to put pressures on Jean Louise to conform to the Southern expectations of decorum.

My favorite part of this novel is her relationship with Henry Clinton; in fact, he's my favorite character. He's an ambitious, honest, hard worker who has, through the tutelage of Atticus, brought himself into a respectable position in the community. He understands the ins and outs of Maycomb, the tensions of race and status, and what matters. And he is hopelessly (and perhaps, unfortunately) in love with Jean Louise.

But the story is really about Scout, who is transitioning to a new place. She doesn't understand the people around her, the slowness and "blindness" of the South to move forward. She feels totally out of place, abandoned, and betrayed at the end of the novel and realizes that the one person she trusted, idolized even, to be nothing short of perfect, is different than she imagined:

"What stood behind her, the most potent and moral force in her life, was the love of her father. She never questioned it, never thought about it, never even realized that before she made any decision of importance the reflex, "What would Atticus do?" pass through her unconscious...she did not know that she worshiped him."

And it was time for her to think her own thoughts, as we all must do as we grow and experience life. While I don't think this novel is as well written or engaging as To Kill a Mockingbird, I love that we get to experience another chapter in Scout and Atticus' life in Maycomb.

Unexpected: Beyond Limitations

I am, unfortunately, very critical of myself. It drives my husband nuts because I can tear myself down with a smile on my face. And I don't even realize I'm doing it. There are weaknesses, dark spots, areas that are broken and scarred in my heart and soul, but God doesn't want those to remain that way. He is a Healer.

Christine tells the story of the lame man in the Bible, and when Jesus encounters him, asks, "Do you want to be healed?" (John 5). Kind of a crazy question to ask someone who is sick, like, "Hey bro, I know you've got that bad flu, do you really want to get better?" Um, yes.

However, the crippled man, instead of saying "YES!" gave an excuse. Yeah, the Creator of the Universe, the Messiah, is standing in front of him and he gives an excuse as to why he isn't whole. We do that to. "Jesus knows it's so easy for us to grow accustomed to our limitations--to be defined by them, to make allowances for them--and not really want to pay the price of change. He knows how easy it is for us to settle for where we are and to live a smaller life than what he's called us to." It's easier to stay where we are, to not dig deep and let Jesus repair our brokenness, fill the holes.

And yet, "When Jesus poses his unexpected question to us, we have a choice to make. We can focus on our limitations and problems, or embrace the miraculous possibility he offers us. We can run away saying a loud no, or run forward proclaiming a loud yes."

I want to embrace that choice and proclaim YES! Whether it be working in my soul, my relationships, my children, my career...I want to confront fear, weakness, disillusionment and charge forward in faith and healing. Doesn't that sound awesome? Will it be tough? But "when did God say that it would be easy? When did he say it would be effortless?"

"Closed doors do not mean that God is not opening a way. 
Increased cost does not mean that God is not calling.
The presence of battle does not mean the absence of God in the war.
Trials don't mean we are out of the will of God. In fact, they often mean we are precisely in the center of God's will....When we say yes to God--to the dreams and ideas he places in our hearts--the roads are often winding, uphill, uncharted, and full of pot-holes" but it is ALWAYS worth it. Always. 

Unexpected: Choose Faith Instead of Fear

There has, so far, been one book (besides God's Book) that has powerfully shifted the way I see life. The book rocked me to my core, turning my expectations upside down and changing the entire trajectory and action of my life. That book was Radical by David Platt.

People, this next book is going to rival that book for the amount of influence it has in my life:

Introducing, Unexpected by Christine Caine. 

I LOVE the how she reaches into the dark places of my soul, naming fear, anxiety, and heartache, and shedding such radiant light and hope. Beautiful, heart-breaking, powerful stories showing the unpredictable pain of life, but also how to overcome. In our lives we will face obstacles, set-backs, break-downs, and illness. We know it. And yet it always seems to surprise us. How are we supposed to cope? We all wrestle with these pains, they just look different from person to person: denial, anxiety, hurting others, substances, or self-sabotage.

But there's a different way. A better way.

Christine Caine believes "with all [her] heart that it's possible for every Christian to learn how to live with a faith so confident in God, it can't be shaken--even when the ground underneath is giving way." Because this world is not steady, not predictable, filled with the unexpected. But, "Imagine the difference....If we learned to do the unexpected while facing the unexpected. What if we believed instead of feared in the face of the unknown? What if we courageously moved through loss and disappointment, believing God has purpose for it on the other side? What if we got up every day believe God for the best, knowing we might possibly encounter the worst?"

When we face the unexpected, whether it be betrayal of a friend, the hurt of a diagnosis, the uneasiness of our future, we have a choice: Walk in faith? Or walk in fear? While the events of our lives are often out of our control, we can choose how to respond. "We either feed fear or we feed faith, and [we have] the power to choose which one [to] feed." So let's feed and grow and live in faith! It doesn't mean fear goes away. But that fear has no control.

"And no matter what kind of bubble we try to construct to manage our safety and security--physically, financially, or spiritually--trials and tribulations are going to come just as Jesus warned us. And in our humanness, we will try to control everything--including God. Yet, we serve a God who refuses to be controlled by us. That's because part of the mystery and adventure of following Jesus is to trust him no matter what is going on around us." 

There is so much more from just the first few chapters that I want to share with you...but I hope you are able to pick up this perspective-changing book yourself and see how you can live through the unexpected in faith.

Love Does: Life is an Adventure

So often we try to complicate and control every tiny detail of our lives. I'm that way. I crave control, planning, order. But that's an exhausting (and unrealistic) way to live life. We can't control everything, we don't know how things will work out, and we don't always know exactly the path God has for us. If we require prescience before we act, we will live a paralyzed life.

Bob shows us in this book that really, life is about making our best guess, trusting Jesus and who he says he is, and going for it. If we can just "be Awesome" like Jesus' humble, yet powerful example, we will make God happy, no matter what we do. 

"In a world driven by self-promotion and spin, Jesus modeled something different for us. Jesus was saying that instead of telling people about what we're doing all the time, there's a better way. One that doesn't require any (superhero) capes that can get snagged on something--something like ourselves. Maybe Jesus wants us to be secretly incredible instead. That was His plan for self-promotion. Secretly incredible people keep what they do one of God's best kept secrets because the only one who needs to know, the God of the universe, already knows."

"We don't always know where He's (God) is headed or what to expect along the way. But I think direction is the point, the part, and the whole of it. He wants followers, not just onlookers or people taking notes." 

Basically, let's do awesome things without expecting or wanting the roaring of applause in our ears. Let's do wonderful things for people because that's just what we do. We may not know how our plans will work out, or why exactly we feel we are supposed to do or say something, but if we are saying "yes" to God and following his example, He will make masterpieces of our scribbles.

My kids. As they soar into the furthest reaches of space. :-) Whimsy in motion.

My kids call my "Boss Lady," because, that's right, I'm in charge. But I think it's important that I don't see myself as the end-all-be-all of my life. That's a heavy burden to bear, one that often puts me flat on my face with it's weight. I love Bob's approach to life: adventurous, effervescent, joyful. I'm learning in my day to day life that those qualities are magnetic and contagious. They attract people; they make people feel loved; they reveal the real Jesus. And that's powerful.

Love Does: So Le'ts Do

From intentions to actions. From complacent timidity to loving abandon. From sidelines to game-changers. From rules and religion to relationships and purpose.

Bob Goff shares hilarious (and slightly unbelievable) stories of his life that have taught him valuable lessons about God's love and loving others. And seriously, it's amazing and encouraging and important.

As a perfectionist, I struggle with accepting my own mistakes. Especially in areas that I feel impact other people; my failures make me want to give up, throw in the towel, stop trying so hard. However, Bob (I feel like he would want me to use his first name, he's friendly like that) shows and reminds us that failures are often the best teachers. Look at the stories of the Bible, many of the leaders of the faith made huge mistakes, had major set-backs, but were able to come back stronger and wiser for it. The reality is "Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so that we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups."

The book is called Love Does, and I would have to agree. When you are passionate about someone or something, it calls us to action. "Jesus told the people he was with that it's not enough to just look like you love God. He said we'd know the extent of our love for God by how well we loved people." We have power to impact one another's lives in amazingly positive ways. A kind word, a delivered latte, a thoughtful gift, a compassionate and listening ear. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for just how influential we can be--our words, our actions, matter. "I believe it's true that the right people can say words that can change everything. And guess what? We're the ones who can say them."

So let's boldly love people. Let's do things that don't make sense, but make a difference. "So the next time God asks you to do something that is completely inexplicable, something you're sure is a prank because it requires a decision or courage that's way over your pay grade, something that might even save lives, say yes."
*

Pure Genius: Next Steps

The leading minds in education seem to be agreeing on a few key areas that are also highlighted in this book: failure is meaningful, collaboration paramount, students choice ensures engagement, and 21st century learners must be creative innovators.

I LOVE IT. Finally, a direction in education that makes sense. There are some powerful implications of this vision: "The education system must do a better job of encouraging innovation--taking risks and fostering passion through learning--if we want to equip our students for the real world. If we start this culture of innovation early and support students all the way through the high school years, I firmly believe that they will be better prepared for college and become true agents of change as innovators!" (Wettrick).

I go back to the three key ideas of my classroom: kindness, curiosity, and creativity.

Kindness. Empathy. Compassion. To change the world, people must see the needs of others. We must recognize the brokenness of our systems. We must hurt for those who do not have what they need. In my class we read the stories of those who we do not understand, in hopes of building bridges of appreciation.

Curiosity. Learning. Interests. People must possess the constant desire to grow and know. To watch and wonder. To yearn for discovery. To not rest until they find a way. We are constantly asking questions in my classroom; questions as to why things happen, why people react as they do, why things are they way they are.

Creativity. Imagination. Innovation. The same old problems are not being fixed by the same old "solutions." We are so "advanced," many so prosperous, and yet people all around the world are struggling with issues of illiteracy, poverty, hunger, disease, ultimately ending in hopelessness. There are raging conflicts that seem to have no middle ground. And I have to believe that many of these problems are not beyond solutions. But we have to look at things in a different way. We will be a class of creators, builders, makers, even in the digital sense and seek to make our learning relevant to the world outside these walls.

So my goal for my students is to help them see humanity for what it is, some of it awe-inspiring, some of it frustrating. I want them to stretch themselves beyond what they thought possible. To seek to understand what seems a mystery. To create in them a vision for a better life for them and the world around them; to empower them to do something; to help them to believe they can make a difference. 

The next steps are to go all in. To take risks. To live with integrity and passion. To create a vision for my classroom that is rooted in kindness, curiosity, and creativity, and everything we do points to these world-changing ideas. Won't you join me in pursuing your vision for a better world? :-)

Pure Genius: Be KIND, CURIOUS, & CREATIVE

"I am not an educational expert; rather, I am a passionate educator who wants to bring about positive and meaningful change." 

Me, too, Don Wettrick! Me, too!

"I challenge myself to pick up new skills that will make an impact on my students and feed my own curiosity."

Me, too, Don Wettrick! Me, too!

Since introducing 20Time several years ago, I've struggled with students to help them find what they are passionate about; we've dug deep to help unearth creativity; I've shaped and reshaped my project expectations trying to find the BEST practice; and I've also gotten frustrated about the stuck and stagnant mindsets of both students and the education world. Wettrick talks about in his book that "constraints lead to creativity." Well, that is definitely true. The reality of our current system is "Teachers must be innovative in their approach to teaching, learning, and designing new experiences" because the standardized tests, mandated learning standards, and politically oscillating world are not going to end anytime soon. There are so many constraints put on teachers (and students) in the educational journey, that we are going to have to get creative if we are going to develop innovative problem solvers instead of good test takers.

In the early chapters of this book, Wettrick encourages us to create a culture of creativity and
innovation, "find the key concept for your class." I realized that the three underlying emphases in my lesson plans, relationships with students, and ideas for the future, revolve around KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and CREATIVITY (which are essentially what the signs on my door to my classroom say--what a fabulous coincidence!). I want students to be good people, really listening to others; I want them to ask questions and pursue ideas; and I want them to make the world a better place by innovatively solving problems. This also explains why I get so frustrated with standardized tests: they can't measure these fundamental ideas.

I'm only halfway through the book, but here's what I want to do in my classroom:

• Start the year in a creative and challenging way: maybe build Rube Goldberg machines the first week; watch TED Talks; something that encourages my 3 key concepts. 
• Also, starting the year with smaller 20Time projects so they understand what the process looks like before we devote an entire semester to one project. Maybe in the fall students do one 20Time Project per month, allowing them to try out different passions they have, not feeling like that have to get locked into one idea, and teaching them how to ask engaging questions, manage time, and present well. 
• Students choose the standards they are going to work on. Or they develop the expectations for what a "Mastery level" or "Exceeds Expectations" project looks like for each standards. I love the idea that they tell me how they are going to be assessed and what those standards look like. 

I'm so pumped to continue reading this book and making my classroom and my students better:

"Is education about earning a grade, or is it really about fostering learning and creative engagement? We need to put the focus on the process of creativity and development, not on earning a grade for compliance." 

YES. YES. YES. 

More places to pursue these ideas:
Daniel Pink's TED Talk "The Puzzle of Motivation"
Tina Seelig's book, inGenius
Creative Confidence by Tom and David Kelly of IDEO

Problem of Pain: The End and Beginning

You guys, this book took me F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to get through, however, it closes in such a sweet, warm gentleness, that it was completely worth it. 

C.S. Lewis spends this whole book working through the complicated issues of pain, sin, humanity, repentance, and love. We wrestle with that age-old question of how could a Good God allow his creation to suffer? And while there is no real, simple answer, essentially Lewis concludes that it is because of our free, independent, and often arrogant soul that causes us pain, along with the cohabitation with other free, independent and often arrogant souls. Additionally, it is through pain that we recognize our need for our Creator and Savior.

However, Lewis reminds us that "Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home." His final chapter breathes sweet tellings of heaven. All the pain is nothing compared to the incredible experience heaven will be (Romans 8:18). And while he feels that "there have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else."

If indeed there is a Good God, and if indeed he is our Creator, and if indeed we recognize when our experiences give us miraculous glimpses of heaven, we can perhaps recognize that there must be some beautiful place of healing, wholeness, and union. And what an encouragement that is! 

Problem of Pain: What Love Means

Put your thigh-high waders on, people, we are going deep. C.S. Lewis writes this stunningly powerful essay that attempts to reconcile "if the universe is so bad, or even half so bad, how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator?" Basically, how could a benevolent God allow suffering and pain? I think that no matter what a person's personal faith journey is, it's likely they've considered this question.

He offers amazing insight; here is one of my favorites:

"When pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much course, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all."

One of the challenges that we have with a good God is that there is pain in the world. How could he allow us to suffer if he loved us so much? Well, C.S. Lewis points that exact fact out: "You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the 'lord of terrible aspect', is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist's love for his work and despotic as a man's love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father's love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes."

I LOVE my children, therefore I have high expectations for them, sometimes causing them the discomfort of discipline.
I LOVE my husband, therefore I expect that he remain constant, faithful, present and would incredibly heartbroken if he wasn't.
I LOVE my students and have high standards for them to be empathetic and hardworking, and feel frustrated when they aren't.
I LOVE my family and so when they go down paths that aren't beneficial, I feel drawn to call it out, even in the pain of hurt feelings--but so they may have abundant life.

Lewis reminds us that "Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness" and that "our 'happiness' is not the end God chiefly has in view: but when we are such as He can love us without impediment, we shall in fact be happy." I discovered this idea a few years ago and it has helped me see my life as a series of trials, of tests, of refinements of my character and faith. Junky days don't happen because God is mean or Satan is riding my tail--my loving God is trying to get me to rise above, respond in grace, exercise patience, extend mercy. Sometimes I do OK, sometimes, not so much.

While knowing this doesn't make life EASIER, it does make like seem more PURPOSEFUL. And that is the beauty of knowing this LOVING Creator.

Start With Why: My Version; What's Yours?

Why do you do what you do? For some, like my husband, this is a fairly easy question to answer. He wants to "make things awesome." For me, I struggled to articulate it. Partly because I'm an English teacher and perfectionist and I didn't feel like my vocabulary accurately expressed it. But partly because I thought it was way more complex that it actually is for me. But it's a REALLY important question.

Simon Sinek's book "speaks to me," as he suggests we say when our worldview matches someone else's. I love it. My blog is called "Heart Deep" because I want to focus on the root, the foundation, the meaningful, and that's what his book is all about: starting with your cause, your purpose, your WHY. What is so powerful about The Golden Circle is that the WHY can be consistent and unchanging, and yet the WHATs can be numerous. Sinek says "a WHY never changes." So no matter WHAT you do, if you have a strong sense of WHY, you can be a leader, start a movement, feel successful.

So here's my Golden Circle in a nutshell:
WHY: to make the world a better place by giving people something to be passionate about
HOW: doing the right thing; expecting top results; think outside and challenge the norm; take risks
WHAT: English teacher, Hope Acres Owner, church volunteer, mom/wife (and future Joanna Gaines of Ash Grove...*wink wink*)

This is why I do things like run a equestrian program: give people an opportunity to be passionate about horses. Why buy Toms shoes: my purchase helps to make the world a better place. This is the reason I started doing 20Time in my classes: inspire kids to be passionate about something. It's why I donate money to organizations like Compassion and A21: I am hoping, through them, to make someone's world better. And is why I get frustrated when people are destructive to others: they are not making the world better and I want them to be compassionate.

Why is the WHY important?

"Those with an ability to never lose sight of WHY, no matter how little or how much they achieve, can inspire us. Those with the ability to never lose sight of WHY and also achieve the milestones that keep everyone focused in the right direction are the great leaders. For great leaders, The Golden Circle is in balance. They are in pursuit of WHY, they hold themselves accountable to HOW they do it and WHAT they do serves as the tangible proof of what they believe." -Simon Sinek

To me: It's about inspiring others. It's about using your time on Earth well. It's about about being successful. It's about being a person who lives with conviction and influence. It's about leaving a legacy and making a difference.

But that's just me. I would LOVE to hear your WHY! What gets you pumped? Why do you do what you do? Please leave a comment and share!

Start With Why: "The Golden Circle"

Simon Sinek is on to something. He's like a modern day revolutionary, an outlaw with an cause. AND I LOVE IT.

His book, Start With WHY is geared toward understanding why successful businesses and organizations have achieved what they have. But he challenges the current trends of operation and development (gasp!). He includes that "the way corporate America has developed has increased our stress to levels so high we're literally making ourselves sick." The incessant need for more, to be the best, to beat the competition has created a culture of ulcer-induced craziness.

My Golden Circle Art (fabulous, right?)

There's an alternative. He believes that there's this magic "Golden Circle" and if you start from the inside, with WHY you do what you do, rather than focusing on WHAT you do, you'll develop a much more sound business and more loyal customers: "People don't by WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it...When an organization defines itself by WHAT it does, that all it will ever be able to do." So "knowing WHY is essential for lasting success." 

I'm halfway through this book and find myself pondering all of the various organizations, roles, and businesses I'm a part of and going all Sherlock Holmes on them, attempting to deduce WHY we are doing what we are doing. As a school, WHY does Ash Grove do what it does? As a small business, WHY does Hope Acres (my horse riding program) exist? In my classroom, WHY do I do what I do? My church, North Point, what is its WHY?

And I'll be honest, sometimes nailing down the WHY is tough. When we are drowning in busyness, it's easy to default to focusing on WHAT we are doing.

But the importance of the "Golden Circle," of starting with WHY has several components. When you start with WHY, you ensure

• integrity and authenticity: "everything you say and everything you do you actually believe."
• innovation: "Average companies give their people something to work on. In contrast, the most innovative organizations give their people something to work toward."
• inspiring leaders: "The role of the leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen."
• culture: "Great organizations become great because the people inside the organization feel protected. The strong sense of culture creates a sense of belonging and acts like a net."

I think every organization and business--and person--could benefit from taking a step back and looking at their own WHY. Why do I do what I do? What's my motivation? What truly drives me every step of the way? We can then determine HOW we will do life: the ethics that guide decisions. That way, when the seas get rocky, when the storms of life move in, no matter WHAT we do, we know it is moving us in the right direction and feels good in our heart. 

Courageous Edventures: Pursuing the Horizon of Innovation

"We must be courageous. We must be bold." To really make a difference in our world, in our lives, in the lives of others (e.g. students), it's about "embracing the possibility of failure, preparing for potential storms and inevitable rocky shores. It means taking a set of fresh eyes to chart a course around the many challenges, the naysayers."

In a world of insecurities, plenty of reasons to be fearful, and lots of criticizing opinions, sometimes we have to be willing to set sail on our own to find better and more beautiful places. Magiera maps out succinctly and transparently just how teachers (or really, professionals) can go from frustration to innovation.

So often people don't like their situations. But we must be people who do not just complain--be solution finders! And balance that with goal of innovation, newness, betterment with sound judgment about what the goal is and should be: "my goal shouldn't simply be to do something new for the sake of it being new or to get better using these new tools. Rather, my focus should be to solve existing problems with new methodologies--and in the process, to reimagine how teaching and learning could look and feel like."

I've been on a journey to really try to innovate in my classroom for about the two years. It's been a process. It's a good thing I watched Zootopia and connected on a pretty spiritual level with the bunny Judy Hopps and her approach to life-- "Try Everything" -- and her mantra, "Ready to make the world a better place?" I started finding ideas I thought were really cool, tech-forward, stretched my kiddos and decided I'd give things a try no matter if the success was guaranteed or not. I've had several projects or ideas that would be considered fails, but my goal was simply to learn something and help someone.

Magiera's book journeys from a "Gripe Jam," a time to throw out (but also problem-solve) frustrations, developing organizational plans, to overcoming common obstacles, and ideas to innovate. Her ideas can be adjusted to fit classrooms of kindergarteners to seniors. She mentions 20% Time (Yes! My fav!), student-led tech teams, problem-based learning (something I want to do more), Makerspaces, digital portfolios, and how to inspire with Rube Goldberg machines (ARE THESE NOT AMAZING?).

As I read through this book, I realized that in order to truly soak this in, to put Jennie's ideas into action, I need to slow down. Don't rush through her read. Some of the chapters are wonderfully practical--take time to stop for a couple of days, process, write down your own experiences and reflections, and then pick the book back up to continue the journey.

At my core I'm a teacher, a opportunity-door-opener. I can't help it, it's just in the fiber of my being. Many of my colleagues are the same. I challenge you, whether you are a professional educator or a restless soul longing for more, to go on a "Courageous Edventure," setting sail into the unknown, willing to reach out for the horizon despite the fears and obstacles. Because don't you know, life is better when we are moving forward, chasing awesome, and pursuing purpose.