Love Does: Life is an Adventure

So often we try to complicate and control every tiny detail of our lives. I'm that way. I crave control, planning, order. But that's an exhausting (and unrealistic) way to live life. We can't control everything, we don't know how things will work out, and we don't always know exactly the path God has for us. If we require prescience before we act, we will live a paralyzed life.

Bob shows us in this book that really, life is about making our best guess, trusting Jesus and who he says he is, and going for it. If we can just "be Awesome" like Jesus' humble, yet powerful example, we will make God happy, no matter what we do. 

"In a world driven by self-promotion and spin, Jesus modeled something different for us. Jesus was saying that instead of telling people about what we're doing all the time, there's a better way. One that doesn't require any (superhero) capes that can get snagged on something--something like ourselves. Maybe Jesus wants us to be secretly incredible instead. That was His plan for self-promotion. Secretly incredible people keep what they do one of God's best kept secrets because the only one who needs to know, the God of the universe, already knows."

"We don't always know where He's (God) is headed or what to expect along the way. But I think direction is the point, the part, and the whole of it. He wants followers, not just onlookers or people taking notes." 

Basically, let's do awesome things without expecting or wanting the roaring of applause in our ears. Let's do wonderful things for people because that's just what we do. We may not know how our plans will work out, or why exactly we feel we are supposed to do or say something, but if we are saying "yes" to God and following his example, He will make masterpieces of our scribbles.

My kids. As they soar into the furthest reaches of space. :-) Whimsy in motion.

My kids call my "Boss Lady," because, that's right, I'm in charge. But I think it's important that I don't see myself as the end-all-be-all of my life. That's a heavy burden to bear, one that often puts me flat on my face with it's weight. I love Bob's approach to life: adventurous, effervescent, joyful. I'm learning in my day to day life that those qualities are magnetic and contagious. They attract people; they make people feel loved; they reveal the real Jesus. And that's powerful.

Raising an Original

Raising an Original by Julie Lyles Carr was a profound and fun read! Her witty style and large family make for entertaining tales that stretched my perspectives.

Austin and I read it over Christmas break, as we were neck deep in corralling our munchkins, 24/7, trying to keep some semblance of order and routine.

She begins her writing by weaving together some beautiful humans from history, metaphors, and scripture:

"...curious threads run through all of us, strands of personality and possibility and purpose that are present from the very inception of our lives. Some of us grab hold of those threads and wave together a lace of life that reflects what we are meant to be."

"We (parents) are tasked with taking threads of life in our children and helping shape them as a dwelling for the Spirit of God."

"We are all, each of us, an original. The Divine Lacemaker gathers His similar threads for life and weaves them anew for every human brought to existence. And when He makes us parents, He invites us to participate in that miraculous process..." 

The thought that we are to join God on the journey of raising our unique offsprings makes the task feel less daunting. Realizing that we were given this child, at this time in history, with this one-of-a-kind personality and purpose, makes parenting each child a fascinating honor. I've always been one to sort of get this, but Carr's book emphasizes this point even more, and for the two weeks we were home with the boys, my eyes were trained more carefully on watching them approach life.

One thing that she does not ignore is our role or perceived role as a parent. Don't expect your kids to do what you did. Don't live vicariously through them. Don't expect them to shoulder our burdens. There's a few chapters in here where Carr basically sits you down, leans in, and in a stern (but loving) voice says, "Listen here. Parenting is hard. But it's not about you. So throw that all out. Get on board with God's design. Period." I love it. Don't beat around the bush with me. Serious soul-searching. And it instigated powerful discussions about our expectations for our boys, whether they are healthy or not.

She uses  the DiSC personality assessment as a tool for observing and coaching our children's unique personalities.Through reading her book, we discovered (it was pretty obvious) that our oldest is a "Director" (Dominance) personality. While our youngest hasn't quite hit two yet and is a little young for the test, we are fairly certain he is the "Inspirer" (Influencer). This means he has all the feelings, all the time, with abundance. So as we played DinoTrux and Paw Patrol for the millionth time, I stopped fighting against Eli's directives and encouraged Ezra's excitement. Those threads are meant to be woven carefully, pulled in the same direction as the child, so to speak, rather than fighting in a battle of tug-o-war. The DiSC assessment was also reflective because Austin and I looked at our own personalities, and realized we essentially have one of each type in our home, making for a raucous, vibrant, and sometimes challenging home.

Carr's book is so tender, so authentic, so practical, so challenging--all the things that parenting entails. Her love for her family and her reader spills off the pages and is such an encouragement. We can successfully and gracefully equip our children in God's purpose for their lives with tenderness and intentionality.