Lately, I've been getting a lesson on criticism. No, not how I'm being critiqued, not how best to provide the constructive kind...I'm talking about the deep-seeded, comes from the darkness of my heart, kind. Man-oh-man can I dish it out. Of course, I'm sure we are all guilty of the kind where we walk through the mall and make comments about her bouffant hair, his goofy swagger, their PDA. I'm as guilty as anyone else. But lately, God is showing me how incredibly talented I am at critiquing others. And that's not something I'm proud of.
I'm a first born child, a strong-willed, independent, educated, perfectionist. I've also got this nasty sin that lurks in the untamed corners of my heart, and a large mass of this cancerous stuff shows itself as unfavorable judgement. I think I KNOW things. I feel like I've got ALL the solutions. My mind wants to pretend I have it all figured out. And so my selfish heart evaluates others, from their hair, to the way they live their life, to the very fashion in which they worship God.
"You were saved by faith in God, who treats us much better than we deserve. This is God's gift to you, and not anything you have done on your own. It isn't something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about." Ephesians 2:8
Enter God. He's kind of smacking me in the face with this one.
WHO AM I to dish this crap out? If I was perfect, then I could rant and rave all I wanted. But I struggle with stuff all day long and here I am being critical others on their own issues, both good and bad.
I believe the root of this issue in my heart are several things: I forget how much of a sinner I was. That amazing gift of grace and mercy and love poured out in Jesus makes me acceptable to God, and somehow, it gets lost in the back of my mind. Secondly, I don't TRULY think about or love others. People are no different from me--I'm a "people" too. All these other humans that irk me, that I criticize, come from hurts, brokenness, trials, and temptations. Many of them are doing the best they can with what they have. Many of them are fighting battles harder than I can even imagine. Many of them are working to be themselves in a world that really doesn't want you to do that. These are humans, and sometimes I forget that.
"Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting." 1 Corinthians 13:7
Our God is a God of grace. He's a personal God who gets to the heart of his people. Jesus met people's deepest needs and healed, REALLY HEALED them. Those that he could have called out and made cower before his perfection, he loved and served and died for. And it didn't matter who they were: prostitutes, IRS agents, drug addicts, obnoxious people, frustrating people--they all received Jesus' love and mercy. God wants to build up, grow, cultivate, tend, mend, fix, love. We see that from cover to cover in the Bible.
"We should keep on encouraging each other to be thoughtful and to do helpful things." Hebrews 10:24
"Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up" 1 Thessalonians 5:11
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those that hear." Ephesians 4:29
So why do I think I should criticize, critique, evaluate, cut down, belittle? How is it Christ-like that I should get in the way of someone's journey to or with Jesus with my words? I want to reflect Christ in every way, no matter who is listening. I pray that I can edify, help, support, love, and provide grace to other humans on this rough journey of life. I beg God to be patient with me and provide me with the wisdom and self-control to manage this untamed tongue on mine so that it heals rather than hurts.
This is a tough lesson to learn and kind of icky to write about. I'm sure some people are shocked to read this, and others who aren't surprised. But my prayer is that through God's wisdom in his word, we might be able to be a church of life and growth. Love you all.
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