It's Not About Me

God has been laying on my heart recently one of the greatest, most important, most difficult lesson. This is one that I will probably battle all my life, and for ever small stride forward, I'll be faced head-on with another obstacle or test that challenges that progress.

The lesson: it's not about me.

Goodness, I've lived my whole life thinking that life WAS about ME. That each breath God gave me was for my benefit. That every morning I wake is a fresh start to make something of myself. That my marriage, child, career, and church were opportunities to better myself and find fulfilment of my dreams. I have believed that the places I've been and mistakes I've made are there to teach me a lesson about myself.

And while some of that is true--the church is a group of people that want to encourage and challenge me, my family brings me joy, and each breath, morning, sunset, and beautiful beach are wonderful for me to experience---that's not the point of my temporary little life.

There's a message in the church, and it's a deadly one. The message is that God mostly cares about my happiness and well-being. You can see evidence of that here:  http://www.albertmohler.com/2014/09/03/the-osteen-predicament-mere-happiness-cannot-bear-the-weight-of-the-gospel/

But look at Paul. Look at Stephen. Think about Peter. Consider Daniel and Joseph and David. Their lives weren't easy. They spend time in prison and slavery. They were beaten and hunted. They were thrown to the lions, criticized, cast out, and martyred. They are the foundations of God's church. Was God's focus them? Or was it his church, his people, his message.

And then there's Jesus. Our example. The shining star. We are to follow in his footsteps. He was criticized, despised, abandoned by his own family, beaten, ridiculed, spit on, and crucified. For what? For pursuit of his own happiness? For fulfillment in his career? For a meaningful marriage? Nope. It was all about The Lord. All about God. All about salvation for others.

I think our world will a an amazing amount greater when we all start to live for OTHERS--and watch the world ignite, bloom, transform. 

Check out this book! 

Get Up and Walk

I find stories from the Bible humbling. Especially if I've been complaining about "stuff"--scripture is like, "oh, really? Hold my...grape juice."

So there's this guy's story in John 5. Here's what we know about him:

A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years...

Wait, what? There's a lesson right there. So often we are so impatient with our circumstances (I know I can be). Suffering can seem never-ending.This guy had been so close to being healed for decades, and yet remained incapacitated. BUT, God used these lengthy years to grow this man, show us a miracle, and teach people life-changing lessons.

Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition.

God sees us, He understands our situation, He's aware of our hurts, struggles, and fear. To me, I find this comforting. The fact that I serve a God who knows what burdens my heart helps me to not feel alone.

He said to him, "Do you wish to get well?"

This seems like a dumb question. He's been ill for a LONG time, he's sitting by a pool for healing, of course, Jesus, he wants to get better...right? Except that we forget, Jesus KNOWS what this man is dealing with and knows the attitude of his heart. This is exactly the question this man needs; we will see this with his response. If he is healed, it will change EVERYTHING about how he has been living his life. When we experience Jesus, we should be ready for him to upset everything about our life. He shows up and won't leave you the same. But he doesn't force His way into our lives, just like this question, he asks and waits for us to accept his invitation.

The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me."

Before we talk about what this man says, let's talk about what he doesn't say. He doesn't say, "Why, yes, Jesus." That would be the right answer to Jesus' question. But instead, he gives excuses as to why he hasn't been healed, and blames two other groups of people for why he's still in this place. It's easy to blame others, blame our circumstances, our past, etc., for what's going on in our life, but that's not what Jesus cared about at that moment. Jesus asked what the man wanted, if he wanted things to change, if he wanted to live his best life.

Jesus said to him, Get up, pick up your pallet and walk." Immediately the man became well...

This is awesome! A miracle! But let's unpack it a bit. Jesus tells him first to "get up." Before the miracle  happened, Jesus asks this man to move, to go, to step. And this isn't the only time this happens with Jesus' miracles. Jesus wants us to take a step of faith, and watch the miracle happen as we move closer to him, closer to our best life.

Water to Wine: How the Miracle ACTUALLY happens

I love stories. I love that stories, while in their own right, have significant and impact, I especially love stories that have significance beyond just the plot.

I think that's exactly what the stories of the Bible are meant for: it's more than just an isolated event thousands of years ago, it's meant to show us how God works and how he interacts with us.

I spent some time reading through the New Testament book of John a few months ago. I love this book because it's purpose is to show just how much Jesus IS God. His first miracle in the book takes place at a wedding, and it's turning water into wine. While that sounds cool in itself, I love what this story reveals about how God works.

The mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine."

This woman KNOWS. She raised this baby up to be a man. She's seen his wisdom, his work, his holiness. She offers him the problem and KNOWS that he will have a solution. I love that! She doesn't tell God what to do, she just offers up the concern and then has faith to watch Jesus work it out in the best way.

Now there were six stone water pots set there for the Jewish custom of purification...

Someone put those pots there. Someone, before this miracle was recorded, maybe even before the wedding started, placed those empty stone jars for a purpose, but maybe NOT the purpose God was going to use them for. These water vessels could be seen as an opportunity, not one that people expected, but one that God would use anyway.

...containing twenty or thirty gallons each.

This is important later. Think: heavy lifting.

Jesus said to them, "fill the water pots with water."

Sometimes, God does huge transformations, performs massive miracles, parts the sea, floods the earth, etc. It's awesome. But how often does that happen in our own lives? Not a lot. I think God's commands are usually simple instructions. Guidance for daily steps forward. Wisdom in the form of forward momentum. God's like, "Do this next right thing, and trust me." We miss a lot of opportunities if all we are looking for is the parting of the skies and crazy visions. God's work in our lives is often quiet, and gentle instructions.

So they filled them up to the brim.

Remember how big those pots are? 20-30 gallons. And they are probably having to draw the water from a well, or maybe worse, have to walk to a river. So a gallon of water is 8.34 pounds (I googled it), times 25 is 208.5 pounds. ADD TO THAT the weight of a LARGE clay pot. See what I mean? Heavy lifting. God sometimes asks us to do some heavy lifting, some hard stuff. It may be simple, but rarely is it easy. It requires some muscle, maybe physically (as is the case here), but often it requires our discipline, perseverance, and grit. But wait! There's more! They filled them to the brim. I've hauled water enough having horses to know that if you fill that bucket to the brim, you'll drench your ankles by the time you get back to the barn! But these servants filled them up, maybe even grumbled along the way (the story doesn't say), and probably were incredibly careful not to spill ANY of it. I'd be saying, "I better not have to go back for more, this is tough!" But these people were intentional about bringing God the whole thing, a job well done, all the effort and care they could. I think sometimes we just cast prayers up to God, we just mention him in conversation, we show up at church once in a while, but perhaps the principle here is that we need to bring to God obedience wrapped in intentionally and devotion. (Sorry, that was a lot! I just love that part!)

And He said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter." So they took it to him. When the head waiter tasted the water which has become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew)..."you have kept the gone wine until now."

I'm sure the servants, carefully set the jars down, looked at Jesus, looked back at the water, looked at Jesus, and shrugged. (At least that's what I see in my mind.) No miracle yet. And all that work! Jesus is like, "excellent work ladies and gentlemen, now that you've done all that hard one, ONE MORE THING..." But sometimes we have to work for our miracle. So they scoop some out and carry to the head waiter (glance back and forth at each other skeptically). But that miracle happened IN THEIR HANDS and ON THE WAY. Coudn't Jesus have just poofed the water into the jars in the first place? Or have just magically created wine from nothing? Yep. But these servants got to be not only the witnesses, but active participants in God's miracle. I truly think that the miracle was not for the bride and groom of the wedding, but for the servants and Jesus' disciples who were watching.

God's working miracles; he sets opportunities in front of us DAILY. We choose to notice them and then participate...or not. Our hearts have to be sensitive to the moments and obedient to his call. What do you see from this parable? Leave a comment about how this resonates with you!

Gazing

A few nights ago I found myself laying in bed, mentally rehearsing an imaginary conversation in my head, thinking about a couple of the horses who have issues, and overwhelmed by the problems of the world. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.

I was glancing through my journal and came upon a powerful statement from the Proverbs 31 ministry podcast:

Glance at your problems, but gaze on Jesus.

I also had another note from the First 5 App that was similar:

Our faith is determined by our focus.

How often do we find that our minds are focused on all the stuff, all the chaos, all of the problems. It's just common sense: what we look at is what we see. If we constantly notice the mess, we miss a potential message. If all I'm looking at is my social media, the news, books about fantasy worlds, the muddy mess of my pastures, then of course things will look bleak and scary. The idea of "glancing" at our problems means we see the troubles, we aren't oblivious, but our vision doesn't stay there, our eyes move elsewhere.

Taste and SEE that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)

I love that we live out in the country. Breathtaking sights are all around us. It reminds me of a God who pays attention to details and had the wisdom to create seasons, possesses the magnitude to place the stars, and the love for us to paint gorgeous sunsets every evening. If I have faith in the God who made this amazing world, then I can trust that he can control it. But will we notice? What are we looking at? Will we turn the focus of our heart to this omnipotent (all-powerful), omnipresent (all-present), omniscient (all-knowing) God. I can see that God has been faithful to me and my family in my lifetime. I can read the words of scripture and be encouraged by his promises of love, life, peace, and joy in all circumstances.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us (those who have gone before us and lived by faith), let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, FIXING OUR EYES ON JESUS, the Author and Perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Psalm 51: Leave the Old Normal Behind

These days are a far cry from normal. And yet, I've heard many people say they look forward when things get back to "normal." But I don't know that I can agree with them, or want to agree with them. Yes, there were (are) some amazing people doing amazing things, and this whole corona virus isolation has put a lot of that on hold--but I'm not talking about those things. The day in and day out grind, the pettiness on Facebook, the #FirstWorldProbs that flood our lives, the busyness of activities, sports, on and on and on...

So far, I've spent a lot of time with the three amazing dudes in my house. We've gone on walks around our property, played board games, eaten EVERY meal together, sent LETTERS to cousins, cooked some great meals...it's been amazing. And challenging. But so GOOD.

I just chatted with my Sis-in-law about how this event will be a defining moment in this generation's history, for good or for bad.

Psalm 51 is so painful; a pleading with God to cleanse and purify, heal and restore. There's a desperation in the voice of the writer, and I think a lot of us resonate with it, at least from time to time. I also believe that it is incredibly relevant to this time we are living in: here we are isolated, desperate, stressed, pressured. Perhaps these words of the psalmist could be used, asking God to create in me a clean heart, and renew a steadfast spirit within me...

I've been challenged these last few days to think about what is really important, to create a new "normal." I've been asking God to restore to me the joy of [God's] salvation and sustain me with a willing [and joyful] spirit. In whatever circumstances we face, in our tiredness, our stretched out emotions, off-track thoughts, derailed life, we need a constant joy, a holy focus, and steady Redeemer that can remind us of what we are really on this Earth for: praise for our Creator, surrender to His work in us, and peace about his control over eternity.

Our attitudes and spirits need a solid dose of humility, and perhaps with this perspective we can open our hands to heaven and surrender to our Good God.

Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your loving kindness; 
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgression.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
...
Make me to hear joy and gladness, let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
...
O Lord, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise.

What do these verses say to you? How do they resonate in your life right now?